December 31, 2010

2010: The Retrospect

Well, folks, that's that. 2010 has finally been laid to rest. It was a good year, filled with many ups and downs, and like so many before it, it went too fast. And that one's on you God! You didn't have to take it. And with that, we scatter 2010's ashes in what we assume to be in accordance with it's final wishes.

"opens up coffee can, and scatters ashes, which blow into The Dude's face"

Sorry about that. I had Lebowski on the mind. Anyway, come midnight tonight, 2010 will be history. And like any good film blogging human of this earth, I will be spending the next few days reflecting on 2010 and all it's cinematic offerings. Join me, won't you, as I list off all the various do-dads and what not of what made 2010 a year to remember.

Here's the schedule! Hope to see all of you there with your thoughts!

Jan 1: Top 5 Best Lines
Jan 2: Top 5 Best Posters
Jan 3: Top 5 Best Trailers
Jan 4: Top 5 Best Scenes
Jan 5: Top 5 Best Soundtracks
Jan 6: MVPs of the Year (Acting)
Jan 7: MVPs of the Year (Directing)
Jan 8: Top 5 Most Anticipated for 2011
Jan 9: Top 5 Worst Films of 2010
Jan 10: Top 10 Best Films of 2010

Alright, time for another furry. This is a toucan!


December 29, 2010

Into the Sunset

2010's windin' on down to a close here, pardner. Lookin' like we done gots ourselves slim pickins from here on out the rest uh de year. What you suppose we do about it?

Sorry, I'll stop with that hopelessly contrived western accent. Yes, 2010 only has a good three days left, and then we are to 2011. Because of this, the influx in quality cinematic entertainment has been fast and furious, as it is every winter. We've had a lot, but I think we are officially at then end of the line. After all those tales of psychotic ballerinas, stammering kings and drugged out fighters, we have reached the conclusion. Rounding out the pack, and closing the book on 2010 is True Grit. It's a western of the highest class, beautifully shot, very well acted and directed, with a great sense of the era in which it is set. Though the movie is very nearly undone by one terrible mistake, it's still worth every penny you will spend on it.

Ok, ok! The Dude abides! I'm sorry!

December 27, 2010

RIP 2010

You've been good to us!

December 26, 2010

Eloquence of the Highest Order

Happy Birthday to me! The big 19! Here! How bout' a review of The King's Speech? It's my birthday gift to you!

Man, I love Christmas Break! Aside from the obvious - no school, no homework, going to sleep late, waking up late, skiing, real food, tons of gifts, my birthday, etcetera and so forth - the weeks between semesters is the only time I really have to see all the movies that a film blogger of my self-determined credibility needs to see. Which is why I'm getting to The King's Speech so late in the game. My plan is to see all the rest of the heavy hitters before the year is done. That way, I can participate in the year end lists actually knowing about most of the films being talked about. Still have to get to 127 Hours though. That one is hard to find...

Anyway. The King's Speech. There's a reason that this one is getting a lot of press. It's great, very well told, superbly acted, with a wonderful sense of humor. This one is gunning for the big O! It has the cajones to go all the way.


December 24, 2010

Bio Digital Jazz, Man!

I know we're adverse to facing the music, but let's just be honest! The fanboys are running everything! Don't believe me? Fine! Chew on this. Video games are a fast growing form of legitimate entertainment. The most profitable movies are the ones that involve mystical worlds, monsters, magic, and lots of digital spectacle. Oh, and Tron: Legacy got made! Convinced? The first Tron didn't make much of a splash, didn't do all that well at the box office, and, let's face it, does not hold up at all today. But, it amassed a cult following and is now considered a tentpole of the beginning of the CGI movement. Then, something happened. The fanboys that made up the cult following of Tron took over the world, and now, 28 years after the fact, we have a sequel.

Ok, I'll admit, I've seen this twice. I would say I saw it once to get the story, and then again to get the meaning, but such a lie has never been uttered... on this blog. No, the truth is that I fell asleep in the first viewing. I know. That's bad, but I had just arrived back home in SF and had not slept at all the night before. Don't hate on me! Now that the full thing is comfortably swimming around in my system, I finally have an opinion. It's good, not great, with the best use of special effects and 3D since Avatar, but carries all the story and script issues that plagued that eye-gasm. If anything, it's a testament to how far CGI has come! This is a visually stunning, but shallow and pointless, tour de force!

Game On!

December 22, 2010

Water and Electricity

Uh... so... yeah...

Sorry for the gap in content. I, foolishly, spilled some water on my computer and had to get it taken in to the Apple store in San Fran to get it fixed. They told me it would just take a day, but, here I am, three days later, and they still have not called me. I am actually out of town now, using a older computer that is decidedly lacking some of the things I need, like Photoshop and what not. Anyway, that's why you didn't get a Trailer Trash, or a Cinematic Captions, or an According to the Movies this week. Apologies. I'll be hitting the theaters in the coming days, seeing all that remains to be seen in this, the year of our... president, 2010. Keep in touch. I haven't given up on you yet!

Thumbs up!

December 19, 2010

Jab, Jab, Uppercut, KO!!

Gotta love the inspirational sports flick, don't ya? I mean, they're just so uplifting, right? An underdog rises to the top with the help of his loved ones, deals with issues along the way, almost loses everything in the final hour, and then returns a new man and defeats the defending champ, who is a total dick. It's nice to know that this tried and true formula hasn't been done to death and that all these elements haven't at all become cliches.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Had you going there for a second, didn't I? No, for real though, it's actually kinda scary how religiously sports films follow the same formula! ATTENTION FILM MAKERS!!! YOUR FILM IS NOT GOING TO EVER MATCH ROCKY!!! STOP TRYING!!! I will say this though. If a film can take the cliches but do them well and layer them on top of other things like good acting and some cool stylistic choices, then I'll turn a blind eye. The Fighter is such a film. Put simply, The Fighter is one of the best examples of this genre since Rocky introduced it to us. Not only does it handle the tried and true story of an underdogs meteoric rise to the top, but it adds to it with a harrowing depiction of drug addiction and a family on the verge of exploding. That, and some of the coolest boxing scenes to come around in a long while. Oh, and some stupendous acting. You'll like this one, methinks.


December 18, 2010

On Point

Friggin' ballerinas, man! I mean, I've danced on stage before, and yeah, it's hard, especially given that when I dance on stage, it usually involves some combination of acting and singing. But, damn! I can't even begin to fathom how friggin' brutal the life of a professional dancer must be. The physical toll must be tremendous! And if Black Swan, the brilliant new film from Darren Aronofsky, is anything to go on, the psychological toll must be out of this world. Black Swan is, plain a simple, a great film, masterfully crafted, wonderfully atmospheric, with a slew of pitch perfect performances. It's also, quite possibly, one of the most scary and disturbing movies I've ever seen. This is one film that's gonna be sticking with me for awhile and one that easily finds a spot among my favorite films of the year. Black Swan is tough, but it is fantastic!


December 16, 2010

Smooth Flight! Minimal Turbulence!

Well, color me dumbfounded, because I am a douche! When the trailers for Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole came out, I scoffed. Why the hell should I care about some kiddy movie about birds. Even when I heard that Zack Snyder was directing it, I still scoffed. I viewed it as Snyder selling out, doing something lame and not worth his time to rake in a few extra dollars in between making his next exploration of awesome!!! And then I saw the thing. Wow! I certainly didn't expect that. Guardians is not the kiddy, overly dramatic film that was advertised. What it is is a surprisingly mature, dark and violent tale told with a truly marvelous aesthetic touch. Though the story and script leaves something to be desired, and some of the character interactions and motivations are hopelessly contrived, Guardians is a film that should not be overlooked. It's not as kiddy as was advertised. It's a technical marvel. It's just good, plain and simple!

Aesthetic Pleasures

December 14, 2010

Cinematic Captions #3

Alright folks! Put your cleverness hats on. Time to get creative!

Alright, the big reveal. Who won last week?

Honorable Mention: Why didn't I take the Blue Argentinian? (Courtesy of Univarn)

And the winner is... Simon!!!

The Leaderboard:

Simon (1)

Alright, next round. Here you go!

Have fun!

December 13, 2010

Trailer Trash: Thor

It's time to root though some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will be alluded to today?


It's Thor! A Norse God goes around wrecking shit for two hours. And, it's directed by Kenneth Branagh! What the hell else do you need to know?

December 10, 2010

Shuffler's On the Prowl

So, there's a new show on the block, one that's a bit different from anything else out there. Though it seems like just yesterday it premiered, the first season has come to an end. The show in question? The Walking Dead, aka, my new favorite show.

Yeah, I know. You're amazed that I watch anything other Glee. To that, I say, nay! I don't watch much TV, and when I do, a lot of it is taken up by that musical showgasm, but, give a guy a break. At least I'm diverse. Being that zombies are the only form of horror that I can stand, and the only form that I view as something more than a cheap way to scare people, I was super excited for The Walking Dead. What did I think about the first season of this season's hottest new show? Well, if I told you now, you wouldn't have to read the rest of the post. I wouldn't be a good blogger if I did that. How could you think that of me? Jeez!

Must Go Faster!

December 9, 2010

Glee Review: A Very Glee Christmas

You know, that brings up a good point. What is the difference between a Santa elf and a slave?

Tis the season bitches, and not even McKinley High is above celebrating the most magical time of the year. The teachers all draw names for Secret Santa, and the glee club attempts to raise money for the homeless by caroling around the school. Both ventures fail epically, Secret Santa because the whole thing is rigged by Sue so she would be the only one whose name got drawn, and the caroling because people still hate the glee club., resorting to throwing shoes at them and shouting, "You're making me hate Christmas!" as they walk out.

Meanwhile, Artie rallies the club to play along with the fact that Brittany, not surprisingly, still believes in Santa. Brittany's wish this year is for Artie to walk, which, as anyone with a brain can tell you, is impossible. So, Artie, Bieste, Will, and Brittany's parents fashion an extremely complex plan to let Brittany know that Artie can't walk without destroying her belief in Santa. Ai-yi-yi!

Also, Finn and Rachel break it off for real, as if last week's break up didn't count.

Now that some serious plot lines are out of the way, this episode was a return to Glee's former glory. A Very Glee Christmas was chock full of ridiculous plots, great humor, and some solid songs. The Brittany/Santa thing is a little hard to believe, but it was honestly very sweet to see Artie go to such lengths to keep her happy. Who knew their relationship had gotten so serious so quickly. Sue rigging the Secret Santa was a wonderful return to her usual shenanigans, and when the cherry on top is her dressing up as the Grinch to steal all the presents from the choir room. Priceless.

Song wise, this episode was pretty good. The clubs soulful rendition of "The Most Magical day of the Year" was great; Kurt and Blaine's duet of "Baby, It's Cold Outside" was decent enough, even though the song is creepy as hell; the finale "Welcome Christmas" from How the Grinch Stole Christmas was alright. Rachel's two songs were just ok. It's not that they're bad. It's just that it's the same stuff we've seen her do countless times. I wish she would give up on the ballads, and sing a raucous show stopper already.

Humor wise however, this episode was on point! The scene where the club goes to see Santa had me rollicking the whole time, especially when Mike states that he wants Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff. Brittany had some winner lines, and it was a delight to see Sue up to her old tricks again. To see Sue dress up as the Grinch and Becky dress up as Max, and then see her drag a wagon full of presents as Sue lunged on top of it, was pure comic gold!

All in all, it was a decent episode that proudly returned Glee to its old ways. There are some things that drag it down. Rachel trying to win back Finn was annoying as all holy hell! But, the ending, which sees Artie "walk" for the first time was really sweet. Speaking of which, how the hell does Bieste have that much money? Just something to think about.

So, that's it for now. Glee returns in February. This first half of the season, not gonna lie, was a little lackluster. For every Britney/Brittany or The Substitute we got an Audition or a Never Been Kissed to go with it. Hopefully, in the interim, Ryan Murphy will take a critical look at Glee and revamp it. He'll take out the pointless celebrity cameos. He'll do away with tribute episodes. Everything will be good. Although, it's been reported that Katie Couric will be on the first episode to air in February, and that episode will feature "Thriller". Uh-oh!

December 8, 2010

Actors Being Actors

This is really cool. Check it out if you haven't already!


Bright Blue Lights

I'm from San Francisco, so it's required that I hate that other city to the south of us. Sorry. Sure, I have friends Los Angeles and even applied to some colleges in the area. But, my San Francisco pride remains strong! Which means I'm thrilled about influx of films depicting LA as it gets the ever living crap kicked out of it. Aliens seem to be a popular way to go about showing the City of Angel's destruction, and Skyline is leading the charge. Unfortunately, for the messiah that will usher in the destruction So-Cal's pride and glory, it's kind of a lame duck. Sorry to say it, but Skyline sucks, and I mean really sucks! What started as some stock footage that wowed the crowd at Comic-Con has turned into a painfully bad, cliche ridden tale of extra-terrestrial mayhem. State of the art effects can't save it. Cool premise can't save it. This one is DOA!

Oh crap!

December 7, 2010

Cinematic Captions #2

Ok, so. I can't be bothered to come up with funny lines for every single screen grab that I get my hands on, so I'm going to take a leaf of advice form Castor and change up CC. It is now interactive, a game, if you will. Every week, I'll post a picture, and then you, the loyal reader, will sound off in the comments with your witty phrase. The winner will be announced the following week, with their phrase proudly etched into the picture. I'll make a leader board. You'll fight tooth and nail to get on it. It'll be spectacular! Ok then. Let's do it.

Impress me!

December 6, 2010

Trailer Trash: The Beaver

It's time to root through some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will be alluded to today?

Soooooo... Mel Gibson. Crazy dude, right? Kind of a jerk, it would seem. It must suck to be Jodie Foster right now. Imagine this. You're trying to promote your new movie, in which you star and direct, and your male lead is making headlines for spewing phrases that would make the leaders of the Klan blush and squirm uncomfortably. I don't know about you, but I'd be a little distressed if that were the case. Wonder how Jodie's coping with it? Yeesh...

The Beaver is about a man, Walter Black, who finds himself in a mind numbing depression after being kicked out of his house by his wife and less than loving children. He can't pull himself out of it, until one day, when he finds a beaver in the form of a hand puppet in the garbage. He puts it on his hand, and, crazily enough, the beaver takes on a life of its own. Soon, Walter is living vicariously through this beaver, and all looks good, until the beaver starts to exert more control over his life. When his family tries to pull him back to them, Walter finds himself struggling to come back to reality.

Sooo... yeah. Mel Gibson. He's Walter, and, here's the crazy thing. People who have seen this movie say Gibson is fantastic in it. Like, it's a career best for him, and a serious Oscar contender, that is, if he weren't the intolerant douche bag he is in real life. Oscar doesn't want to give out it's main acting award to a jerk. It's shame, because if Gibson is, in fact, as good as this trailer makes him out to be, and as good as people are saying, then some award love would only be fitting. Jodie Foster and Anton Yelchin also show up as Walter's wife and son, respectively.

This trailer depresses the hell out of me. Those images of Walter lying on his bed, floating in his pool, or curled up on his couch are actually kinda heartbreaking. This looks like one of those movies. You know, a film that tugs at the heart strings and makes you empathize with the main character's plight in a very honest and realistic way. In other words, a damn good movie! The only problem? Mel! Fucking! Gibson! I doubt many people will be willing to give a film with him in it a shot. Well, bully for them. If the film is as good as the trailer makes it out to be, then they'll be missing out.

December 5, 2010

Muscle Milk

Men! We're a brutish subspecies, aren't we? For all our pandering, and romantic bullshit, and our useless groveling, we will always return to our most basic tendencies, those being, desiring to blow shit up, grunting, and doing excessively macho things like fighting wild boars or taking a bath in molten lava.
Ok, fine. Maybe that's a glorified description of how stupid men are compared to women, but, some of it strikes home. Traditionally, men will go for something fun, loud, and exciting, but ultimately hollow and forgettable. Which would explain why The Expendables, Sylvester Stallone's celebration of muscles and bullets and blood did so well at the box-office. It's a whiz-bang, hell of a good time action flick, but one that is devoid of all humanity and subtlety. Oh sure, it's a lot of fun, and you will walk away from the film chatting about how awesome that one part with the stuff and the thing was, but, wait a couple of days, and you'll be hard pressed to remember why you made such a big deal about it in the first place.

Lucky for us, no acting required!

December 2, 2010

Glee Review: Special Education

Am-badass-ador! Ha ha ha! Puck, you slay me!

With Kurt gone, Mr. Schu is struggling to find a new member of the club so they will be able to compete at sectionals. He finds one in the resident fatass Lauren. You know, that whale of a girl who wanted Mr. Schue's babies in Brittany/Britney, and the one who got him sick in The Substitute? Yeah, that girl. She's a bitch! Big deal. Not the point of the episode.

As the club gears up for Sectionals, tensions don't just flare. They explode! Will finally realizes that he has been ignoring the other talent in the club in favor of Rachel and Finn, his two heavyweights. So, he pulls a fast one on everybody, declaring that Sam and Quinn will sing the opening ballad of their set list, and that the big number will be more dance centric so as to give Mike and Britney a chance to shine. Well, Rachel's pissed, and begins acting even more ridiculous than usual, stooping so low as to come into rehearsal with duct tape over her mouth as protest of being silenced, which causes Will to finally lose it with her. Powerful stuff. Meanwhile, Kurt is taught a lesson in humility when his tendencies to take control are rebuffed at the first rehearsal of his new club. He takes it a lot better than Rachel though.

On another note, Special Education was pretty heavy in terms of relationships. Santana finally spilled the beans on her and Finn sleeping together way back in Season 1, leading Rachel to drag him to couples therapy, and then cozy up to Puck. Artie and Brittany run into snags along with Mike and Tina when Artie and Tina begin to suspect that Mike and Brittany, who are spending a lot of time together rehearsing, are going at it. Oh, and Emma impulsively marries Carl. Yeesh!

I must say, it was sort of refreshing to see everyone blow up in each others faces like that. Sure, they all bicker at each other and whatnot, but they have always kept their emotions in check. To see people actually start shouting was a welcome change of pace. Gotta say though, I wanted to punch Rachel and Mercedes in the face in this episode, especially Rachel. She's always been a selfish bitch, but she was a raging selfish bitch in this episode. She claims to learn about being part of team and things like that, but the second she doesn't get a solo, she's goes crazy! It's gotten to the point where it's stopped being funny, and is just aggravating. I don't like the character anymore, and I was actually on Finn's side when he broke it off with her. While I think it was nice for all the other relationships in the club to remain intact, I think it was a good move for the writers to break up Rachel and Finn. They got together way too quickly, and they couldn't stay together forever. People would get bored.

Sang it sista!

Music wise, this episode was strong. The Warbler's rendition of "Hey, Soul Sister", led by Darren Criss, sounded awesome. Sam and Quinn's duet of "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" was beautiful, and soundly destroyed Finn and Rachel's duet of "Faithfully" from regionals last year. New Directions' big number, "Valerie", was a lot of fun, as was the finale of the episode, Florence and the Machine's "Dog Days are Over". The only weak song, if you can call it that, was Rachel and Kurt's rendition of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" from Evita. It's not that it's a bad song. It's just that, compared to the raw power of the other numbers, it felt a little tame.

All the humor in this episode fell to Puck and Brittany. Puck was righteous hoot as he tried to get the other football players to man up and join glee. His version of the Bruce Springsteen story was hysterical, and I loved how he shouted Karofsky down for how he forced Kurt out. Brittany also had some winner lines, as when she confuses adultery with being stupid, or, as she puts it, being adult. Funny stuff.

I honestly don't know how I feel about Glee this week, or anymore, for that matter. There have been some very heavy plots being thrown into the mix, which is all well and good. I love me some serious drama, but it comes at a cost. The stuff that makes this show so great is being pushed to the side, that being, absurd humor, a celebration of cliches, and fun songs. The songs are still there, but the cliches are not so much being celebrated as they are being condemned, and the humor isn't anywhere near as biting. That could be because Sue hasn't been showing up as much, and her material isn't as strong when she does. Even so, Special Education was a decent episode. A lot of the dramatic stories were finished in this episode. Kurt's at Dalton, Rachel and Finn have broken it off, Emma's married (though it's not gonna last long. I'm calling it), and the club is moving on to Regionals. So, hopefully, now all this serious stuff is wrapped up, the show can return to its fun loving ways. I sure hope so!

So, Brittany does motocross. Strangely, that makes complete sense.

December 1, 2010

According to the Movies #19

If the movies say it, it must be true!

Have you noticed this? There has been something that bothered me about medieval films or fantasy films set in medieval times. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, until now. I was watching Lord of the Rings: Return of the King just last night, and on that slo-mo shot of Miranda Otto's Eowyn cheering right before the Rohirrim charge, it hit me. All these people have such impeccable teeth!

Ok, hold up a sec! How is this possible? These people are living in medieval times. Last I checked, toothbrushes weren't exactly a popular commodity back in those days and dental hygiene wasn't explicitly a problem people felt they needed to concern themselves with. But, in these films, there they are, those pearly whites. 

Granted, only the leads have good teeth. Nothing gives away a villain like a disgusting set of chompers, but still. What's the deal? Let's look at some examples, shall we?


Well, this one's a bit dark, but believe me. They're immaculate!

Do you see? Look at those things!

Powerful stuff.

The Lesson: If you are a good guy in a film set in a time of castles, swords, shields, and bloody bloody warfare, chin up. At least your teeth will be pretty.

Cinema Code of Conduct

Here's my contribution to a meme that Wynter over at Cinema Scream is heading up. Here's how this one works. We post the picture you see below. Then, we come up with our own, additional rule to add to the list. Two days form now, on December 3, Wynter will write up a post with everyone's additional rule. Easy enough, right? He wants all of you to get involved as well. So, here's what you do. Download the picture here, and then post it to your... whatever you use, and then link back to Cinema Scream with your 11th rule. Let's see how many the Black Hole can churn out. Come on minions! We can do it!

The Black Hole's 11th Rule: No sleeping! Seriously! Yes, the actors on screen can't see you, but, you came to the theatre to observe their art. Show some bloody respect. And if you just can't keep your eyes open, then, for the love of Lucifer, do not snore! No one wants to hear that! Karate chops to the neck are allowed if you snore. Also, I have a pack of rabid dogs, and they have an appetite for balls! Do you want that? Didn't think so. Don't do it!

November 30, 2010

Cinematic Captions #1

In an effort to keep myself busy with this blog, I'm introducing a new feature which will fill the Tuesday gap. It's a fun little thing, the main purpose of which is to amuse myself, which, in turn, will amuse you, hopefully. It's a play on LOLCATZ. Pretty self explanatory, I think. Here's the first installment! Enjoy!!!

Addendum: This will become interactive. I'm just testing the waters. Chill, young grasshoppas!

November 29, 2010

Trailer Trash: Your Highness

It's time to root through some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will be alluded to today?

Well, since you all just loved and commented the hell out of the Red Band trailer of I Love You Phillip Morris (note the sarcasm), I decided to do another one. Rejoice!

There's a prince. He's brave! There's another prince. He's an idiot! When the brave prince's virgin bride is kidnapped by a sleazy wizard, the two of them must join together on an epic quest to save her. They are joined by a hit archer who the idiot prince "thinks of" often. Stoned epicness ensues.

James Franco returns to the brand of comedy that made people start to take him seriously. He is joined by Danny McBride, who has been upgraded to a lead role after his scene stealing performances in Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder. Natalie Portman will be freaking audiences out in Black Swan this December, and then she will turn right around and crack them up as a fiery warrior who loves to strip down to her thong and bathe. Interesting. Zooey Deschanel and Justin Theroux round out the main cast as the virgin and the villain, respectively.

This trailer is hysterical! It's fairly long, giving it enough time to focus on the comedy aspects of the film, and then on the epic action aspects of the film. Pineapple Express did a good, if messy, job of balancing stoner comedy with urban action, and since fantasy and weed don't usually mix, Your Highness (see what they did there) should prove to be a breath of fresh air. The trailer would have you believe that it's a raunchy, vulgar piece of comedy, and I'm inclined to believe them.

November 28, 2010

November 26, 2010

At the Halfway Mark...

It's never easy to say goodbye. You've been a part of the journey; you've experienced so much together. You grew collectively over the years, but the end is upon us. It's never easy, but this is especially hard. The story of Harry Potter has been a part of pretty much everyone's life for the past fifteen or so years. What started as fun, imaginative children's book blossomed into one of the greatest fantasy epics ever, which, in turn, grew into the most intense cinematic venture of all time. Now, we are at the end. The world of Harry Potter will be put to rest  after this. But, first, we have Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. 

On the run!

November 25, 2010

Glee Review: Furt

Oh how I wish I could shove a knife into Karofsky and twist it!

Glee has gotten pretty serious this past season, hasn't it? What was once a cheesy little musical serial that delighted in the high school cliches has now become a brutally honest look at what it is like to grow up and, pardon the expression, face the music. This week was a continuation of that trend.

Furt begins with Burt and Carol telling Finn and Kurt that they are engaged, meaning that Kurt will become Finn's brother for real. Surprisingly, Finn actually seems ok with this new development, or, if he's not, he does a good job of hiding it, since he doesn't want to spoil his mom's happiness. They grow up so fast!

Meanwhile, Kurt is still being tortured by Karofsky in the halls, and the club has finally had enough. Mike, Artie, and Sam all stand up to him in the locker room, and all get severely beat down. Puck is all for joining in, but, he's still on probation, and is not looking to go back to juvie. Finn, on the other hand, has no good excuse for not standing up for Kurt. Once again, he is obsessed with being cool and keeping his standing in the social hierarchy of the school, so much so that he won't help Kurt. I don't know about you, but if one of my friends was being tortured like that, fuck social standing! Whoever the culprit is better watch out cuz I'll take him down!

Whew, sorry. Let my emotions get away from me. Where were we?

There is a Sue plot line, but, honestly, it's pretty friggin' stupid. The half assed attempt to make Sue look even more self centered would have been solid gold, and would have done a lot to alleviate the stress of this thematically dark episode, if she wasn't as level headed as she was in the rest of the episode. This is the sweetest we've ever seen Sue when she's not interacting with Jean. The way she resigns her position as principal and vows to keep an eye on Kurt to make sure Karofsky doesn't pull any more shit is legitimately heart warming. So, why the stupid plot about her marrying herself? It was an excuse to bring Carol Burnet, who plays Sue's Nazi hunting mother. Unlike last week's inspired guest appearance by Gwyneth Paltrow, the addition of Burnet to this episode just seemed tired, like the writers didn't care enough. She comes on, sings a song, and then Sue tells her off for being a bitch. Could've seen that coming from a mile away.

Music wise, this episode was weak, but, for the first time this season, I didn't care. The story was clear focus of this episode. The writers were more interested in furthering characters than they were in entertaining with song, and, unlike the tepid Never Been Kissed, they took the story telling to a whole new level in order to make up for lack on fun songs. With the exception of the Sue plot, the writing on display here is some of the best Glee has had so far. This should be the episode the producers submit to the Emmys for consideration. The resolution of the whole Kurt/Karofsky thing was a long time coming, and, God Damn, was it heart breaking. Sam and Quinn finally become a real couple, with an emphasis on the real. And to see the guys stand up to Karofsky like that was some of the rawest acting to come out of anyone so far in the series.

On a character note, Karofsky. I can honestly say I have never hated a character as much as I hate him. Seriously! Props to Max Adler for going all out with this character, giving us every despicable detail about him. He doesn't seem like a caricature of a confused bully, he's a real person, and Adler plays him exceptionally well.

The ending of this episode is incredibly sad, despite the revelry that was previously seen at the wedding. It's what's best for Kurt, and even though it pains him to leave McKinley and New Directions, to stay would have been the death of him, especially after the school board refuses to expel Karofsky. I had a major problem with Rachel in that last scene. "Are you going to be competing with us at sectionals?" Come on girl! One of your best friend's is leaving you. No one's that shallow!

Can't wait to see how the club is gonna punish Karofsky after this! Dude better watch out. Something tells Finn is out for blood and Puck doesn't care about juvie any more!

Gobble Gobble Gobble

Happy Turkey Genocide Day Everyone!!!!!!!!

November 24, 2010

According to the Movies #18

If the movies say it, it must be true.

The following lesson probably applies to a whole slew of movies, but, I can't seem to think of them. Sorry. I just started Thanksgiving break, I'm allowed to not think!

In the movies, you have your hero, and you have your villains. It's always very fun when said hero is a former member of said group of villains. The main movie I'm talking about right now is Ninja Assassin. See, here's the thing. The villains are a very dangerous bunch. They can kill countless good guys and cause all types of carnage. But, when they fight the hero, they can't do shit! The movie gods have imbibed the hero with supreme skill over his former comrades. In Ninja Assassin, Raizo is an unstoppable force when it comes to dispatching of his ninja brethren. They ninjas he kills are very adept at killing cops, innocent bystanders, and people the movie doesn't consider important enough to capitalize on. However, when they face Raizo, they are completely helpless. He cuts bloody swath after bloody swath through them, barely flinching as he does.

The Lesson: If the hero suddenly finds himself fighting his former comrades, he can take heart. He will suddenly find himself to be far more capable at dispatching foes than any of his opponents, even though, when they were allies, they were matched. Does that make any sense at all? Screw you! It's not supposed to!

Movie Videos & Movie Scenes at

November 22, 2010

Trailer Trash: Green Lantern

It's time to root through some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will be alluded to today?

One of the annoying things about having this feature on Monday is that is about as far from the day new trailers are released as I could possibly have made it. When a new trailer comes out, I usually have a good 4-5 days before I'm scheduled to write about it. By then, all my blogging buddies have given their two cents, so when I post it, it's as if I'm arriving late to the party. I mean, I could always move the feature to a different day, but that would throw my whole schedule out of whack, so I'm not gonna do that, especially since I've gotten comfortable with it.

So, why the bitching? I don't know. I guess it's too explain myself for posting something about this trailer so late. It was released, like, last Wednesday, and since then, Hatter, Travis, and others have dished on it. Now it's my turn.

Green Lantern is based on the DC comic of the same name. It concerns Hal Jordan, who is entrusted with a mystical and powerful ring one day and tasked with using its power to defend the universe as a Green Lantern. He is then whisked away on an epic journey to alien worlds, where he learns how to use the ring, and then returns to Earth to face off with an enemy with less than good intentions.

Ryan Reynolds is Jordan. Ok, he could be good, but I'm a little skeptical. Any superhero movie that Reynolds has been in has been unmitigated shit far. Blade: Trinity? How bout X-Men Origins: Wolverine? You get the idea. Granted, he's taking the lead here, instead of being relegated to the back burner, but still. His reputation suggests something tepid. Other people that show up are Mark Strong, playing the bad guy again, and Peter Sarsgaard as... someone. This cast is talented, but it's a superhero movie not directed by Christopher Nolan. I'm going in with tempered expectations.

This trailer is sweet, but nowhere near as awesome as I thought it would be, given what I've read on IGN and such about the film. None of the action scenes shown really did anything for me. Honestly, I thought there'd be more destruction on display. The alien worlds look sweet, but shockingly cartoonish for a film with such a ridiculous budget. The ring effects look cool. My verdict on whether or not this film is going to be worth going to on opening weekend is still out, but, if the next trailers are like this one, I'm gonna be disappointed.

November 21, 2010

Off With Their Heads

Horror is a fickle little bitch, ain't it? These days, it's all about the BLOOD, whereas, way back in the day, it was all about the atmosphere! Since we are usually treated to films that specialize in one of those aspects, be it the gore (Saw), or atmosphere (The Ring), it is a very nice surprise when we get a film that specializes in both. Sleepy Hollow is such a film. Tim Burton's moody take on the William Irving's famous legend mixes things up a little bit, changing the origin of the main character, and bringing in a healthy dose of the supernatural. Though some qualms pain me, Sleepy Hollow is wonderfully atmospheric and legitimately unsettling film. It also goes overboard with the decapitations. Not necessarily a bad thing, but...

Edward Sweeney Scissorhands Wonka Hatter

November 19, 2010

It's Good To Have Friends

Isn't it?

This past week, I strolled down to my mailbox in the Campus Center here on Bard Campus. After getting it open, I happened upon a little something-something from a certain someone-someone. Hatter had alluded to a gift of sorts that would be finding its way to me at some point as a thank you for putting up with a Matineecast recording session mired by technical issues up the wazoo. Unfortunately, Hatter's big move to a stylish new crib postponed the mailing of said gift, and, since its college, and I was in a show, and I have work, and I'm busy, and I'm tired, and I have a social life outside of this blog (crazy, right?), I briefly forgot about the incoming present. So, imagine my surprise when I found a nice little package sitting in my box, from a certain mad person. What was it you ask?

A DVD copy of Moulin Rouge!!

SAWEEEEEEEET!!!! I was very excited about that. Not only am I now privy to all the juicy extras, but now I can watch it legally!! YAY!!! Thanks Hatter. You da man!!! Here's a special furry just for you!!! This is a bunny!


November 18, 2010

Glee Review: The Substitute

I say. Those casting people sure do know how to attract the talent.

There's a disease spreading through the halls of McKinley. Strangely enough, this new strain of "monkey flu" only seems to effect people who pose a threat to Sue. Maybe she bioengineered it to attain her goals, which is totally something she would do. Anyway, Will comes down with it and is forced to take a sick leave. Enter the substitute, the comically named Holly Holiday. Not only does she take over in Will's Spanish class, but she also takes the reins of the glee club, much to the chagrin of Rachel, who was hoping to lead the club in Will's absence. Holiday is a big proponent of letting the kids do the songs they want, a big change of pace form Will, who is still looking for a Journey song that the club hasn't performed yet.

As this power struggle plays out, we see Kurt and Blaine's relationship progress, albeit through the eyes of a ticked off Mercedes. It's nice to see Kurt finally have someone to relate to and chat with, but, God Damn, he was dick to Mercedes in this episode. Mercedes thing with the tater tots was pretty stupid, but, as with everything in this episode, was taken to such glorious heights of ridiculousness that it is easily overlooked. The plotline that saw Will and Terri briefly reconcile was also interesting, and handled better than any other  plotline between the two so far in the series.

But, the main focus was Mrs. Holiday, and boy was it a good focus! Gwyneth Paltrow guest stars as the substitute, but it's not a just a movie star cameo designed to ring some extra viewers. I mean, the total viewing population of Glee is probably bigger than some countries, so, they aren't exactly starved for an audience. Paltrow is fantastic as this spunky, fun loving, but ultimately damaged woman. She's hilarious, but also heartbreaking. And damn, can that woman sing!!

The songs this week were also a big step up from last week. They were all exciting, interesting, and each brought something new to the table. The "clean" version of Cee Lo's "Fuck You", as sung by Paltrow, was great, as was her and Rachel's rendition of "Nowadays" from Chicago. Will's and Mike's reimagining of "Make Em' Laugh" from Singing in the Rain was hysterical, and the last song, a mashup of "Singing in the Rain" and Rhianna's "Umberella" was the best song so far this season, and the dancing on the number absolutely killed!

"The Substitute" is, hands down, the best Glee episode of the season, and certainly one of the best of the whole series, ranking right up there with "Dream On", "Journey" and the pilot as the strongest of the bunch. There's talk of making Paltrow's character a regular. I don't know how I feel about that, but, for the time we spent with her this week, it was absolutely wonderful.

Also, how awesome was it seeing Beiste burn Sue when she tries to disband the football team with a "But then who are your Cheerios gonna cheer for?" Priceless.

So, now that Paltrow is out of the way, who's next for big name guest star? Javier Bardem is on the list, and Stamos and Chenoweth are sure to make reappearances. I don't care about any of those; I only care about one of them. Please let the rumors about Bruce Springsteen guesting the show be true. Please let be true. If The Boss were on Glee, so many dreams would come true!

November 17, 2010

According to the Movies #17

If the movies say it, it must be true.

So, I'm going to take a break from balls to the wall action films and focus on something a bit more tame for this week's lesson. There's a trend in romantic comedies that dictates that the two leads cannot spend the entire movie together, instead being forced apart only to see the error of their ways and reunite in the end. In High Fidelity, Rob breaks up with Laura in the beginning, and then gets back with her in the end. In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (which is a romantic comedy. Shut up!), Joel and Clementine break it off, only to reconcile in the end. In (500) Days of Summer, Tom and Summer break it off and then... well, they don't get back together, but screw you! Movies need some conflict, right?

The Lesson: If you are a couple in a romantic comedy, prepare for hard times. You will break it off at some point, but will most likely get back together in the end. Sorry. Audiences these days would just get bored if there wasn't anything to challenge the love of their two stars. That's modern day consumerism for ya. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

November 16, 2010

And It Was So...

The URL has been changed!
If you are reading this, then you are aware, and you should totally add it to your blogroll/favorites.
Ok, that's all.
Be sure to pick up your gift bags from the caribou outside.
Ciao tutti!

Addendum: Ok, so, this is kinda embarrassing. I went to register the domain, and I find, much to my chagrin, that there is already a blog with that URL. The person who registered said URL has not written anything for the blog since its inception. Pisses me off, but whatever. So, slight adjustment. Here's the new URL.

I don't like people sometimes. Really, I don't...

November 15, 2010

Trailer Trash: Battle: Los Angeles

It's time to root through some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will alluded to today?

It seems LA is the new New York City when it comes to alien invasions. Just this weekend we had Skyline, and alien actioner set in the city of angels. Too bad everyone says it sucks. What will save us? Los Angeles should be able to provide great backdrops of extra-terrestrial carnage. What will provide it in kind?

Battle: Los Angeles, apparently. Concerning a group of soldiers tasked with repelling an alien invasion in the glamorous city, Battle: Los Angeles is shot guerilla style, hoping to evoke such films as District 9, Cloverfield, and others. It looks pretty promising, especially when you consider the talent on display. Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez, Bridget Moynahan, and Michael Pena all lend their talents to this sci-fi romp.

This trailer is sick. No dialogue is spoken. Instead, we are only shown choice images of the city's destruction and the ensuing conflict set to Johann Johannsson's "Sun Gone Dim". It's an effective marketing method that alludes to a more subtle approach to this flick, but the shots in this trailer make it out to be a hyper intense, violent as hell thriller. Maybe it'll be both. Either way, I'm super excited for this one. Only a couple of months till LA is destroyed again. Can't wait.

November 14, 2010

Poll Results: The URL Change

You have spoken. I hereby obey.

The final stage of the blog overhaul is complete. Y'all have voted on the URL change, and the winner is here. The new URL is...

Thanks to everyone who voted (all seven of you). I'm not going to change the URL in three days time. I'm giving you this heads up so as to give everyone some time to re-add it to their blogrolls and such. Ok, well, that was fun, wasn't it?

Time for another animal. This is a woodchuck. 

Suck on dis!

November 13, 2010

70741 |)0/\/\!|\|47!0|\|

Title Translation: Total Domination in leetspeak... I am such a geek...

Slowly, but surely, I'm overcoming the challenges of being a film blogger who is suddenly thrown into an area where theaters are not exactly easy to come by. You know all those movies that were huge at the end of the summer that were conspicuously absent from this blog? Well, blame Leon Botstein for that. Anyway, as the movies I missed slowly start to trickle out onto DVD, I, like a fiendish feline (alliteration FTW), pounce on them all. There are a few which have still eluded my grasp, but, the big kahuna has finally found its way into my hands. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World was on my short list of films that absolutely had to be seen this past summer. My prediction was right; Scott Pilgrim was great. As a guy who is pretty well versed in video game culture and no so secretly digs on the whole power ups, levels, and boss fights thing, this was film was something of a godsend. And now that I've seen it, I'm finally going to jump in line behind y'all with my verdict. Im slow to the draw, but, what do you want from me? I'm young.

Epically Epic On An Epic Scale Of Epicness!!!

November 11, 2010

Glee Review: Never Been Kissed

Nice to see Finn's mailman incident come up again.

With Puck back from juvie this week, everything is back to normal within New Directions, or so it seems. In preparation for sectionals, Will decides that now is as good time as any to have the annual Battle of the Sexes.

With this as a foundation, the episode delves into some solid storylines. The comedic one, which involves Sam, Bieste, and pretty much everyone else, sees Sam taking Finn's advice on how to cool off when making out with Quinn, since she's not going anywhere past first base. So, Sam takes to fantasizing about Beiste, which is a huge turn off. Unfortunately, since he still hasn't grasped how things work around McKinley High, he shoots off his mouth, telling everyone in the club about is new method of killing the mood. Everyone gets in on the action, even Tina. Of course Beiste finds out, and shit goes down.

Another plot saw Puck being Artie's aide as part of his community service. What this entails is Puck intimidating kids into giving up money when he and Artie busk in the school yard, and showing him how to woo Brittany and Santana, though that one doesn't end very well.

The final plot sees Kurt as he finally meets another gay kid, the star of a rival glee club played by newcomer Darren Criss. This blossoming friendship helps Kurt muster up the courage to stand up to Karofsky, leading to a totally unexpected shift in the dynamic. That was well handled.

Plot wise, this was a great episode. Puck's return wasn't just a comedic thing, it was a real story that showed a more vulnerable side to him. Kurt's storylines so far this season have been aces, and the one about the kids cooling off by thinking of Beiste in neglige chopping meat is almost perversely funny.

There were some unbelievable moments in the plots though. I bought the ending of the Kurt/Karofsky face-off, and especially bought the aftermath, but I did not for a second believe that Will and Beiste would end their final conversation that way. That made no sense.

Music wise, however, this episode sort of sucked. There was only one number that really popped, that being the girl's mashup of "Livin' on a Prayer" and "Start Me Up". That one was awesome. The others were awful. Any time Katy Perry is played, I want to drill into my brain, even if it is sung by a bunch of uber talented men; the guy's mash-up was eh, but it was the first song of the episode that hit the nail into the coffin. For Puck's busking session, he and Artie sang Bob Marley's "One Love", and the show could not have fucked it up more. My GOD, that was horrendous! None of the songs had anything to do with the plot, making them all seem like complete afterthoughts. Also, what is it with the Bon Jovi and the mashups? Seriously, last year during this contest, the guys sang "It's My Life" with "Confessions". This year, the girls sang "Livin' On A Prayer" with "Start Me Up". What's next? "Wanted Dead Or Alive" with "Like A G6"?
Actually, that would be pretty cool.

On the comedy front, this episode was solid, though. Brittany didn't have much in the way of funny lines, but this was balanced out by Sue, who had tons. Her conversation with Quinn about how she thinks Sam is fantasizing about Bieste was hysterical! Also, the images of Beiste when the love makers fantasize about her, including one where she is doing ballet whilst smoking a cigar, are comic gold!

It was good episode, to be sure, but the lack of any decent songs brings this one down to the level of the season premiere. There are plenty of funny moments, and great story telling, but, this is Glee. If anything, we expect the music to be good, and it wasn't. Oh well.

On another note, Gwyneth Paltrow is guesting next week. Wonder how Coldplay feels about that...

November 10, 2010

According to the Movies #16

If the movies say it, it must be true!

I finally got around to it! I finally overcame my rural living situation here in Annandale-on-Hudson and managed to get my mitts on Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (review on Saturday). For those who don't know- and, judging by the pathetic box office the movie experienced, that could be a good percentage of you- SPVTW concerns a lowlife named Scott Pilgrim who starts dating the girl of his dreams, named Ramona Flowers. Unfortunately, this comes with a slight downside. For Scott to live happily ever after with this girl, he must defeat her seven evil exes in all out battles to the death. There are quite a few lessons to be learned from this movie, most of which I will touch on eventually, but, today, I am laying the best one out for you.

See, one of Scott's opponents is a man named Todd. Todd has totally awesome hair, plays bass like Flea, and has psychic and telekinetic powers. How does he manage to pull of all this crap? He's vegan. Yeah, one of those hipster types that I'm practically drowning in here at Bard, but anyway...

The Lesson: Are you vegan. Good for you! You can do cool shit, like levitate a person on the ground, and play bass as if it were a surfer guitar. You'll also make really bad puns, but, I guess that can't be helped.

Addendum: You have three strikes, or the Vegan police will find you. No, gelato is not vegan. It's milk and eggs, bitch!

November 8, 2010

Trailer Trash: Sucker Punch... Again

It's time to root through some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will be alluded to today?

Good to be back! We had a GREAT run of The Wild Party, but, alas, it is over. Post show depression is hitting me like a mother fucker, but, gotta keep trucking on, right? Luckily, I have a really awesome trailer to write about to pull me out of my funk.

Thanks to this new trailer, I finally have a grasp on what Sucker Punch is actually about. A girl, whose name is apparently Baby Doll (???) is entombed in a mental asylum by her less than loving father after her mother passes away. It's a grueling life in the nuthouse, but, with the help of her compassionate dance teacher (again, ???), Baby Doll learns to escape into her own mind in an elaborate plot to break free from her prison. She enlists the help of four other girls in her quest, and together, they delve into their imaginations to find the things that will set them free, guided along the way by an enigmatic wiseman.

Thoughts on the cast are still the same as last time. Emily Browning looks to kick a whole ton of ass, and look damn good doing it. I still have no idea who the hell Carla Gugino is supposed to be. Scott Glenn looks to be having a rollicking good time as the wiseman. That character is gonna be ridiculous.

As with the last trailer, the latest addition to Sucker Punch's marketing campaign is flat out awesome!! So many cool shots, so many sweet scenes, and it's all set to Led Zeppelin's "When the Levee Breaks" and Silversun Pickups' "Panic Swtich". Talk about some brilliant trailer music. Trailers for Zack Snyder movies always have awesome tracks; I have the Watchmen trailer to thank for my ridiculous obsession with Muse, but, we won't talk about that again.

It's a lot of the same thing that the last trailer gave us, but, when the "thing" in question is this good, you won't hear me complaining. Sucker Punch is still my most anticipated movie for next year. I can't wait!

November 1, 2010

Due To A Wild Party...

Blog's closed for the week.


This video!

I will do the Glee review though. It gives me an excuse to watch it.

Addendum: There is no Glee this week. Ooops...

October 31, 2010

Groovers and Mobsters Present: Horror

Since it's Halloween, and since us blogging types can't think of anything original to go with it, we're gonna write about scary movies. Groovers and Mobsters, as they so often do, are running a specific theme this month, the theme being Horror. BE AFRAID! Anyway, since I arrived early to the drawing of films, I was given top priority, and as such got my favorite horror film of the bunch! Enjoy!

Set to Godspeed You! Black Emperor... HELL YEAH!!!

October 29, 2010

Gotham on the Rise

Well, after months of speculation, we have something to go on. Christopher Nolan has finally broken the silence regarding his third entry into the Batman franchise. He dropped some real winners of information, but, still kept a lot in dark. Here's what we know so far.

Good to be back, Gotham

October 28, 2010

Glee Review: The Rocky Horror Glee Show

They really like the tributes this season, don't they?

Never one to take a hint, Will starts off this week's Glee still trying to woo Emma. Upon hearing that she had a blast at a midnight screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show with Carl, Will impulsively decides that the glee club will perform Rocky Horror for the school musical. Rachel and Finn immediately jump on the roles of Janet and Brad, Sam nabs the role of the monster, Kurt refuses to play Frank-n-furter, and instead gets Riff-Raff. Mike is forced to drop out of the production when his parents order him to, which leaves a gap in the cast that Will cannot fill. Enter Carl, who, as it turns is a Rocky Horror fanatic with a killer voice. He offers to step in for Mike as Eddie, leaving the role of Frank-n-furter to fall to Mercedes.

Meanwhile, Sue infiltrates the production under the guise of helping out so that she can run a piece on inappropriate content in schools for Sue's Corner. Will and Emma continue to just run circles around each other, and end with Will promising to leave Emma alone. Didn't he do that just two episodes ago? Jeez, the guy just doesn't learn.

The big theme this episode is body image, as both Finn and Sam will be forced into revealing outfits for their roles. This doesn't bother Sam, who apparently has aspirations to become the next Stallone or something given how much he works out and the diet he adheres to. Finn, on the other hand, is terrified of appearing on stage in nothing but his tidey-whities. It's an interesting concept that Glee hasn't covered before, and it is handled surprisingly well.

Musically, this week is on point, though that's not saying much. The music of Rocky Horror isn't exactly the epitome of the rock opera, if you ask me. Still, the cast does a great job with their songs. "Time Warp" is a lot of fun, John Stamos' rendition of "Hot Patootie" is a rollicking good time, and Finn and Rachel's, albeit quick, cover of "Dammit Janet" is absurdly funny. There are a couple of blemishes though. The best song in the whole thing, "Science Fiction/Double Feature", sung so wonderfully by Santana, only lasts a couple of seconds. I'll admit, it was funny to see Emma sing "Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me", but here voice is surprisingly weak, and didn't lend itself well to the song. And what the hell were the writers thinking making Mercedes Frank-n-furter? I mean, really? That was just stupid.

Comedy wise, this episode was strong. There were tons of great lines. I loved when Finn admitted to not knowing what was going on in the show, and not in "a cool-Inception kind of way." Becky's line "Give me chocolate or I will cut you!" was brilliant, and to see Santana being so forward about her desire to screw Carl was quite amusing. It was also hilarious to see the cast rehearsing with Will playing two roles. "Finn's line. Eddie's line. Finn's line." Awesome!

It's not the best episode so far this season. The whole Will/Emma thing just ends up in the same place as it began, and am I the only one who is getting weirded out by Will performing with the club? I don't know. Apart from that and few missteps in terms of music, this was a good episode. As a tribute, it probably could have been handled a bit better, but it was a fun time with plenty of laughs and a well delivered message about body image.

Ok, enough is enough! Bring Puck back already!

October 27, 2010

According to the Movies #15

If the movies say it, it must be true.

I'm sticking with the zombie thing this week. I mean, Halloween is just around the corner, and, to be honest, zombies are the only horror genre I have any substantial experience in. Besides, I've covered slasher films already. So, I'm going to go out on another date with the undead. No guarantees that I'll make it back.

In the first movie, it's all about the survivors. But since there's no easily recognizable villain, in the next installments a main zombie is introduced. This guy is usually a leader of the walking corpses/infected hosts, of sorts, and is usually a lot smarter than his undead legion. In Day of the Dead, Bub is Rhodes' prized pet, but eventually turns on his master and leads the zombies in a takeover of the underground facility. In Land of the Dead, Big Daddy starts to exhibit signs of intelligence and leads a zombie army in an effort to take down the last remaining human city. In 28 Weeks Later..., Dom gets infected and starts a new outbreak, after which he tails the fleeing survivors, which include his children, eventually cornering them in an abandoned tube station.

Another thing that should be noted about these particular zombies...
THEY! NEVER!! DIE!!! The other undead around them will drop like flies, but these guys exude some sort of power obtained in the grave that makes bullets conveniently miss them. They will also kill a ton, and I mean a ton of humans, including at least one main character.

The Lesson: If you find yourself in the next installment of a popular zombie franchise, watch out for one particular corpse. He is the leader of the undead, displays some form of smarts, and will absolutely not die throughout the entire run of the movie. If you are in a group of survivors, watch out, as this particular zombie will kill at least one of you. You don't have to fear any of the other, normal zombies. Just him. He''s the dangerous one.