Oscar has come and gone my friends. The time of predictions is long past, the winners are here. It was an average show, if I do say so myself, but more on that later. Did you miss the broadcast? Have no fear, Seb is here, with his annual Oscar Minutes. With the recent inclusion of twitter in my life, I now have a much easier way to jot down all this crap. So, without further ado, let's recap.
Here's how it's gonna work tonight. My recent activation of Twitter has given me a far easier and stress free way to jot down the Oscar minutes. Follow me throughout the night for up to date info on the show, after which I'll throw all the tweets together into one post for you reliving pleasure! See you tonight folks. It's gonna be a trip!
LAST REVIEW OF A BEST PICTURE NOMINEE! JUST IN TIME!!! I AM AWESOME!!!
What is it about dysfunctional families that always make them to topic of a dry, ironic, witty indie comedy with darker undertones? I thought the trend bucked with Little Miss Sunshine, but, lo and behold, we have another of this devilish subgenre vying for Best Picture rights this year. The Kids Are All Right paints the whole "kooky family" thing in a new light by having both parents be gay, and layers this new idea onto strong writing and good performances. However, I do have something to say before we keep going. All you people out there who heralded this as the best thing ever, and how Annette Bening totally deserves that Oscar over everyone else, I say to you. CALM DOWN!!!!!
So, for some reason, there's an epidemic at McKinley. It's not, as Will fears, head lice, but rather, public drunkenness. Kids are showing up intoxicated left and right, since there are now drinks out there being marketed to kids (Not so subtle Four Loko skewering FTW). Figgins, ever the righteous sword of truth that he's deluded himself into thinking he is, declares that this week is Alcohol Awareness Week, and enlists the help of the glee club to sing a song about the dangers of alcohol. Cue kids getting drunk.
Meanwhile, Rachel is hard at work composing the original song to win Regionals, but is stuck on the idea that you have to write about what you know, and apparently, the only things she knows is her head band. Her parents are out of town for the week, so Puck puts the idea of hardcore rager at the Berry house in her head. She's hesitant at first, but folds when Finn says that living a little will help her song writing. Cue people getting drunk!
In other news, Will is still trying to move past Emma, and Bieste decides to take him out to let loose. She takes him to a honky tonk bar, complete with gold-top Gibson Les Pauls, more cowboy hats that you could shake a tail feather at, and a fully stocked bar. Cue people getting drunk!
My God! There was a lot of booze consumed in this episode. Like, seriously! It was practically Skins up there, those kids were acting so crazy! I actually kind of appreciated this. Up till now, the show had painted most of the glee kids as saints (with the exception of Puck, Santana, Brittany, and Quinn), showing them behaving like good little school children. But, at the end of the day, they are teenagers, and teenagers go out and drink on the weekends. It was nice to see the club in an environment where they could act like real people, outside of the preconceived notions the show has created for them.
Apart from that, nothing really happened in this episode. We had an interesting tryst between Blaine and Rachel, which saw Blaine questioning his sexuality, but it ended up exactly where you knew it was going to from the start. Will preaches to the club about how drinking is bad, then goes out and gets plastered himself, and then lectures the club about how he learned with them. Same! Old! Song! And! Dance!
Music this week was also "meh". The show stopper came at the end with Brittany leading the club in a tantalizing rendition of Ke$ha's "Tik Tok" but that was about it. The clubs take on Jamie Foxx's "Blame It" was alright, but it was the choreography that did it; the singing was nothing special. Rachel and Blaine's drunken duet of The Human League's "Don't You Want Me" was surprisingly weak, given how strong the two of them have been in past weeks. And don't even get me started on Will and Bieste's version of Amos Milburn's "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer". That song is just all kinds of not good!
Humor wise, however, this episode was aces! The party scene at Rachel's house was HILARIOUS, and Finn's counting down of the kinds of drunks (Santana is the weepy drunk, Brittany is the stripper drunk, etc.) was great. The best moment came when Brittany, who had finally had one too many, spews all over Rachel in the middle of their number. Rachel's face on that was absolutely perfect!
Also, Figgins referring Ke$ha as "Keh Dollar Sing Ha" was excellent.
But booze fueled humor can't really save this episode, since the stories and songs aren't up to snuff. Since nothing happened in this episode, there's really nothing to speculate on. Oh well. Until next week then.
Also, Brittany wearing almost nothing? Yes please!
Every so often, we all feel that urge. You know what I'm talking about. When you get a beat in your head, your foot starts tapping, your head starts bopping, your booty starts shaking, and the lyrics just come pouring out of your mouth. Well, maybe you don't have that feeling all that often. After all, bursting into song in broad daylight, surrounded by a bunch of people who don't know you won't accomplish anything other than the receiving of dirty looks. But, if you do suddenly find the power of the music in you, let it loose. Something magical will happen. Music is a mystical thing, and impulsively bursting into song awakens this mysticism. Sing, and you will find yourself in weird and magical worlds. Take, for example, Moulin Rouge. As Christian hits the really epic part of "Your Song", he and Satine are whisked away, riding stars and dancing on clouds. In Rent, Mark and Joanne bond over their shared disdain for Maureen's ways, and suddenly find themselves in the midst of ballroom, doing a sexy tango. In Chicago, every number that Roxie, Velma, or Billy belt out transports them onto the stage, bedecked in sparkles and spazz!
The Lesson:The power of music is unbeatable thing. Let it consume you, and you will be taking on a wonderful journey. Just make sure everyone around you is cool with it, cuz otherwise it'll end up like that scene from Sweeney Todd where Johnny Depp makes a complete fool of himself in front of Helena Bonham Carter. Just sayin'...
Not much to say on this one. Looks pretty interesting, to be sure. The idea of a horror movie set on the moon is fresh one. But, I can't see this making more than the tiniest of ripples. With Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity, Diary of the Dead, and Paranormal Activity 2 coming out in recent years, the "found footage" sub-genre is getting pretty stale. Also, since it's revealed that no evidence of the supposed 18th trip to moon was ever found, we already know the ending. Way to ruin whatever surprise there might have been. Thanks guys.
So, for some reason, Bard was really smart, and decided to kill all power to the internet on Friday. Not only did this result in me and the entire student body not being able to download The King of Limbs, but it prevented from writing my review for this week. Spoiler: It was of the last Best Picture nominee I have yet to write about. Figure it out. It'll go up sometime next week.
This was me yesterday, albeit slightly exaggerated. Also, I'm prettier than that guy...
So, I started a Twitter for the site. Wanna keep up with what's going on, what movie I'm seeing, and whatnot? Hit that ol' follow button.
http://twitter.com/#!/blackholecritic
Anyway. Here are some things upon which you can click, which will take you to new things, upon which you can read.
Peter makes his Oscar Predictions. When discussing Best Supporting Actress, I'm with him on his Melissa Leo prediction, but I'm still pulling for Hailee Steinfeld upset.
Kai lists off the Top 10 Leading Men Working Right Now. It's a strong as hell list, and one that inspired me to finally hunt down and check out Gangs of New York (review coming next week).
Glee this week sees Rachel trying to stage a comeback. From what? I don't know. Anyway, she hires Brittany to start sporting her style in order to start a trend. That blows up in her face.
While all this crap is going down, Sam is trying to win back Quinn. How does he do this? He starts a Justin Bieber cover band. Amazingly, this works. All the girls thrown themselves at his feet and all the guys want in on the action. Only Finn acknowledges the stupidity of the whole situation, but even he's not above cashing in on the phase when it becomes clear that Quinn is turned on. Sad stuff.
Meanwhile, Sue is in a bit of a funk, even attempting to commit "Sue-icide". Will is actually sympathetic and, at Emma's goading, grudgingly lets her into the club. Though she does attempt her usual tricks, she is actually moved by Glee's exploits, and becomes one of them. Of course, she goes turncoat on they asses in the end, but it was nice to see a good Sue for a change.
These three plots are handled pretty well, though the Bieber one does get forgotten about halfway through the episode. Sue's arc in this episode was nice, and even though we all knew she wouldn't really change in the end, it was refreshing to see her soft side again. The Sam/Quinn relationship was destined to fail from Day 1, and this seemed like a very natural way to end it. I'm curious to see what happens to these people, since Finn still seems to be harboring feelings for Rachel even though he wants to be with Quinn. Powerful stuff.
Music wise, this episode was a corpse at the start, but was revived once the writers decided to stop playing Bieber. While it was hilarious to see all the girls charge Sam and all the guys stand in bewilderment, the fact remains that Justin Bieber is a plague upon all that is good in music, and his songs, no matter well they are handled, will never be good. This is remedied by an inspired diva off between Rachel and Mercedes, set to, of all things, "Take Me Baby Or Leave Me" from Rent. Finally, they play some Rent!!! Lauren finally flexed her solo muscles with "I Know What Boys Like" by The Waitresses. That was alright, but a solo voice is something the character is lacking in. She didn't sound very good, despite the fact that she gave it her all.
The best song came at the end. Sue, fed up with all the Bieber, suggests a proper anthem for the club to use at Regionals. He suggestion? "Sing" by My Chemical Romance. OH! HELL! YEAH!!! That's one of the best songs off My Chem's new album, and the club knocked it out of the park. That's how you sing a bloody rock song!
Humor wise, the trend of being spot on continues. Brittany had some winner lines, and Rachel's description of her look as being "Sexy Schoolgirl Librarian Chic" was fantastic. But the funniest parts came from the episodes spot on skewering of Biebermania! The punchline came early, and saw Sam singing a pathetic version of "Baby" to a bunch of downtrodden girls at a Bat Mitzvah. Barely two bars in, and he's being attacked by said girls, who now in a feverish frenzy of excitement and pre-pubescent love. Good stuff. Sue had some good lines, and Brittany was actually given a chance to lay down some pain, as when she tells Rachel what people are really thinking when they look at her. "They see a cat getting its temperature taken and then they hear it screaming." Awesome! Also, Puck in a toupee? Come on! That's great!
It was good episode. Not quite up to the level of the last two, but keeping the streak of strong offerings from New Directions and Co. It'll be interesting to see how the new plot lines pan out. Rachel's going to write a song for the club, and Sam is on the outs with Quinn and on the ins with Santana. Sue has reverted back to her usual self and has been named the coach of Aural Intensity, the club's rival at Regionals. What will she do, we wonder?
You know, it's right in front of our faces, but I don't think anyone's acknowledged it yet. That is one incestuous group of individuals right there. I mean, jeez!
I'm starved for ideas right now, so it's gonna be unoriginal this week.
Today, we'll be focusing on Evil Ex #2. Name: Lucas Lee. Class: Skater Turned Actor. Level: 35. Scott must do battle with him on the set of his new film. Unfortunately, being a big movie star comes with perks, one of those being that you never have to do your own stunts. Mr. Lee is an adept fighter, but is more than happy to let his stunt team do the work. One thing you should know about stunt teams. They will all look differently from the guy they are... stunting(?) for, will be different sizes, even different races. But, they will all sound like him. Apparently Hollywood duplicated the voice sticker thing from Mission Impossible, so all the stunt guys sound like their boss. Case in point. Take a look.
The Lesson: If you have to fight a movie star, he will sick his stunt team on you. Be prepared. They will look nothing like him, but will sound exactly like him. This is meant to throw you off... somehow. Seems kinda pointless to me, but, whatever. Knowing's half the battle!
300 posts. Woot woot! I didn't know I had it in me to churn out 100 posts that fast, especially given that it took my 2 years to get to the first 100. Since I'm hard pressed to come up with an interesting topic for this post, and comparing my blog to the movie 300 just sounded too tricky, I've decided to do a little retrospective. Every 100 posts, I'll look back, and single out the ones that I thought were the best. You know, the ones you should have noticed before but you're noticing them now because they're in this post but I'm not picky because any recognition is alright by me and this was a terrible run on sentence. Leap away!
I'm pleased with myself right now! For the first time ever, I have actually seen every single Best Picture nominee before Oscar night. I told myself at the end of last year's event that I would, and I did. Hold your applause to the end please. After churning through the likes of Inception, The Social Network, The King's Speech, and Black Swan, I finally got my mitts on Winter's Bone. I'd been hearing all the raves about this movie from the likes of Jess, Hatter, my mother, and pretty much everyone else on the planet. While I think these raves are a bit exaggerated, Winter's Bone is still a damn good movie, delightfully moody, beautiful to look at, with a wonderful performance by Jennifer Lawrence. It's not as good as everyone says it is, but in now way should that dissuade you from seeing it.
My continued attempts to legitimize this blog continue to progress in big ways. For my first year of taking part in The LAMB Devours the Oscars, I have the good fortune of being tasked with covering one of the most major awards, Best Director. Want to see my thoughts on the race? Take a leap.
Can we take a minute to acknowledge how much of a badass Jeff Bridges is? Not only does he provide a chair for Annette Benning, but looks so suave doing it!
Also, looking at this picture made me realize something awesome! I'm Facebook friends with an Oscar nominee, which is probably the closest to this ceremony I will ever get. Damn, I am connected!
Picking up where Sunday's Shuffle left off, this week's Glee sees Finn enjoying his new status as official King Bee of McKinley, thanks to the football team winning the championship. His new fame has gone to his head so much, that he comes with a grand plan to help the club raise some money. He is going to open a kissing booth, and every girl who wants a smooch has to pay a dollar. What a douche!
Meanwhile, the spirit of the stupid holiday is rife amongst the glee kids. Puck, for some reason, has eyes for Lauren. However, this isn't like when he had eyes for Mercedes. He seems to genuinely like Lauren. Uhhh... ok then. Artie and Mike are high on life since they are both in drama free relationships. Wish I could say the same for Sam and Quinn. Sam is getting increasingly suspicious of Quinn and Finn, and rightfully so, as they are questioning whether or not to get back together. Rachel is desperately trying to win Finn back, but is slowly coming to grips with that fact that maybe he wasn't good for her in the first place. And Kurt's preconceived notions that Blaine was into him come crashing down when it is revealed that Blaine has the hots for some dude who works at GAP. And Santana, much to her surprise, is single, and can't stand it.
AGHGHGHG!!!! SO MUCH DRAMA!!!!
I can tell the writers were having a lot of fun with this episode. Puck schmoozing on Lauren was a piece of inspired lunacy, the high point of which saw Lauren beating the crap out of Santana. Finn was delightfully sleazy with his whole kissing booth thing, but showed some real heart when confronted by Rachel and Quinn. The whole Kurt and Blaine dynamic really progressed, as Kurt finally reveals to Blaine his feelings. It's good stuff.
Music wise, I'd say this one was pretty good, though not as impressive as Shuffle. I don't know what possessed Puck to serenade Lauren with Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls", but whatever, it was hilarious! Arite and Mike's rendition of Michael Jackson's "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)" was alright, made better by Harry Shum Jr.'s awesome dancing. The Warbler's two songs were on point, if not as solid as "Bills Bills Bills" from last episode. But the one that stole the show came from, surprisingly, Lea Michele. Rather than sing a somber ballad as has become custom for her character, this week saw Rachel Berry launching into the fast and upbeat "Firework" by Katy Perry. FINALLY!!!
Humor wise, it doesn't get much better than Santana breaking down in tears because people just don't understand how honest she is with people who suck! The whole Puck and Lauren dynamic was absolutely hilarious, and the fight that saw Santana feebly try to fight back as Lauren tossed her around like a rag doll was great. I don't know if I should have been laughing when Tina broke down in tears during her song, but Will's perfectly timed "Alright then. That was... powerful" brought a huge smile to my face.
And this episode offered up the biggest "OH DAMN" moment of the entire series so far! It saw the entire club ganging up on Santana for, quite simply, being Santana, but it was Rachel's line that sealed the deal. "The truth is, Santana, you can dish it out, but you can't take it. Maybe you're right. Maybe I am destined to play the title role in the Broadway musical version of Willow, but the only job you're gonna have is working on a pole!"
:-0
I! AM! SPEECHLESS!
On the note of character, it was nice to Blaine display some sort of human emotion this week. I mean, I've always liked the character, but he could get really annoying with how friggin' cheery he is. Getting shot down like that really forced Darren Criss to show off some other emotion that wasn't blind optimism, and it was really nice.
Two rock solid episodes in row? Say it ain't so! It seems that the interim has been kind to Glee, and the start of the second half of the season easily trumps anything that came before it. Let's hope they can keep it up.
Ready for another foray in Scott Pilgrim land? I hope so, cuz that's where we're going.
He's made it to the final round. It's Scott vs. Gideon! The big kahuna! The final showdown. Unfortunately, Scott's an idiot and forgot to bring something with which to go about hitting the bespectacled douchebag with. No problem though, all he has to do is profess his love.
I apologize for the song...
The Lesson:Professing you love someone right before you're about to thrown down will cause a weapon of righteous fury to appear from your chest! Use it wisely!
Addendum:The Power of Self-Respect is sooooooooooo much better!
A football themed episode that airs right after the Super Bowl? Excuse me. I need a minute to step back and let the originality just waft over me.
Glee returns with a huge bang this week. Under the tutelage of Coach Bieste, the McKinley football team has not only improved, but they are going to the championship game. Unfortunately Karofsky, Azimio, and the rest of the football jocks are still being huge douches to Finn, Puck, and Sam, leaving a sizable rift within the team. Knowing she has no chance of winning the big game unless the whole team bands together, Bieste enlists Will's help. The entire football team is temporarily inducted into the club so as to cultivate some solidarity amongst the two worlds.
While all this goodness is going on, Sue is going through something of a crisis. Quite simply, she is bored with the Cheerios. So bored, that the combination of boobs and fire does nothing for her. To spice things up for the upcoming regionals, she decides to fire Brittany out of a cannon. This will most likely kill her, but when has Sue ever given any regard to human health. She also decides to steal the thunder of everyone else in the world and schedules her competition on the same night as the big game, leaving the football team without cheerleaders or a halftime show. Leave to Glee, with the help of the jocks, to step up.
In a fantastic return to form, this episode dialed way back on the seriousness, and let us swim in a sea of absurdity. This was an episode in which you had to check your brain at the door, and we were so much the better for it. Sue shooting a guy out a cannon? Check! Rachel, Mercedes, Tina, and the Fat One joining the football team? Check! Sue going on a prolonged rampage that probably left the school in significant debt due to damages? Check! Brittany asking how many Ms there are in the letter R? Check! The laughs came fast and furious, and it was all topped off by a delicious cameo by Katie Couric, interviewing Sue, who had just been voted as The Loser of the Year, beating out such things as the economy, Mel Gibson, and Lindsay Lohan's dog. Pure! Unadulterated! Genius!
The music was also on point. The much touted about mashup of Michael Jackson' "Thriller" and The Yeah Yeah Yeahs "Heads Will Roll" sounds like a disaster waiting to happen on paper, but in execution, it was almost flawless. The guy's take on The Zombie's "She's Not There" was great, made all the more awesome by the elaborate zombie makeup they were sporting. But the show stopper came, not surprisingly, from the Kurt, Blaine, and the infamous Warblers. Their rendition of "Bills, Bills, Bills" by Destiny's Child was all kinds of fantastic, and Darren Criss rocked it!
Humor wise, this was exceptional! There were so many winner lines here, from Azimio declaring that show tunes are the music of his oppressors, to Bieste asking if Will was going to try and kiss her again, to the football team, in full undead regalia, moaning "Brains" as a distraction method. It was good stuff. Sue rampage all around the school was funny, and it's reintroduction was perfectly timed! Santana having to hit herself and then Brittany in the face with a chicken breast was hilarious, and you couldn't help but laugh when Puck decrees that getting hit in football hurts, and not in Mellancamp way. Great stuff!
I really hope Glee can stay on track from here on out. The first half of the season was weak by comparison, but this episode was a huge step forward. We'll have to wait and see.
I was talking about this with another musical inclined friend awhile back. What the hell kind of budget does this school have that they can give their cheerleading squad a man cannon and provide Hollywood level effects and makeup for the glee club? Maybe you'd be able to pay for the bus to Regionals if you stopped wasting all the money on sets and costumes, Will! Just something to think about!
Congratulations to Green Bay! I know Kai is living the good life right now!
Sunday! Super Bowl Sunday! A day where the lewdest and crudest of people get together to watch the tube, cheer for their team, pound beer, and gain a collective MILLION pounds in chips and dip! It's all about the game on Super Bowl Sunday!
HAHAHA!!! What a laugh! Who are we kidding? No one gives a crap about the game! Ask someone what their favorite part of the game is, and chances are they'll say the commercials, and they'd have every right to. Super Bowl commercials kick ass!
We had plenty of juicy spots for upcoming films at this year's game. See the breakdown here!
With time, comes decay. It's the way of the world. Houses will eventually crumble. Food goes bad. Bonds break. Try as we might to convince ourselves that things will remain as special and brilliant as they were in the past, eventually we have to step up and face the music, that everything changes, and, often, it is not the change we saw coming or the change we wanted. This mindset is the centerpiece of Blue Valentine, a deconstruction of a love that focuses on only two moments in the relationship, the beginning and the end. It's an incredibly difficult movie to muster, but it's that reason exactly that makes it so good.
And finally, Fletch, Hatter, and I have all made the decision that Disqus, while a fun experiment, failed to deliver the goods, and, as such, we have switched back to Blogger's regular comment system.
These are trying times we live in. Keep your head on a swivel. Travel in packs. And always carry your sword. You'll be ok!
I'm gonna take another trip into 28 "insert time length here" Later... land. As you are no doubt aware, the rage virus is not called the rage virus because it makes everyone all passive and friendly and makes them want to cuddle with people a whole huggy-buggy bunch. No, it pisses them off, so much so that they feel the need to brutalize every single non infected person they see. The infected (see Nick, I'm adhering to your rules) are big fans of sprinting up to you and doing bad things to your body, but there is one sector of the human figure that they despise above all others. Those little globes of matter in your head really tick them off for some reason, and they will do everything they can to relieve you of them.
Movie Videos & Movie Scenes at MOVIECLIPS.com The Lesson: Eye balls exude a pheromone that really gets the infected in a frenzy. Watch out! If you're not infected, and you have eyes, you might to invest in a pair of goggles... or something.
