October 6, 2010

According to the Movies #13

If the movies say it, it must be true!

So, last week I talked about how the hero of a balls to the wall action movie is invincible, right? Bullets, knifes, and other things that kill a normal person, have no effect on them. In Commando, John Matrix (awesome name!) can walk through a hail of gunfire, and not get hit once. In Ninja Assassin, Raizo gets cut up by what seems to be hundreds of ninja stars, and yet he is still able to jump around, slicing dudes in half in increasingly bloody fashion. However, since there needs to be some high stakes in there, or else everyone would just get bored really fast, the hero always gets hurt in the end, and only by one individual. The main antagonist is the only person who can hurt the hero. The movie gods have blessed him/her with the Elixir of Supreme Villainy. Only they can do damage to the hero!

The Lesson: Are you the hero in a balls to the wall action movie? Great! Go nuts! Blow shit up for an hour and fifty minutes of your two hour run time. However, be prepared. In the final ten minutes of the film, you will face your nemesis, and he will do something to you! He/she will hurt you, and you will feel something you have never felt before. That thing is called pain. Don't worry, you'll still kill him in a glorious fashion, but, even so. Know your enemy! He/she is the only one who will do any damage to you!

1 comment:

  1. So so so true! I'm immediately reminded of Die Hard -- I mean has any movie ever really beaten the running across a room filled with broken glass, countless knock-down drag outs, machine gun bullets flying, and explosions that would make even the most casual observer down the block quiver in response? Nice!

    Oh, and cheers-> Just got my LAMB certification, making the rounds, see you about the blog-o-sphere.