Black As Raven, Dumb As Bricks

I don't know what the whole Snow White craze in Hollywood is all about. Between this and Mirror Mirror, we're getting more than our fair share of the "fairest of them all". Maybe the gods of showbiz are aware of some growing trend, but whatever. I have no stomach for speculation. All I know is that if this trend continues, we are in for some dire circumstances. Though it has good ideas, boasts spiffy visuals, and has one hell of a villain, Snow White and the Huntsman is a pretty terrible movie, with an awful screenplay, undeveloped heroes and predictable plotting. It's all dirt and grime and loud noises, and while I think it's a great move taking something as kiddy as Snow White and making it hyper dark, this is not the way to do it.

I'm the God of Thunder. You love vampires. This will never work!

Trailer Trash: The Snow Whites

It's time to root through some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will be alluded to today?

So, I guess the new fairy tale on the block to receive the live-action remake treatment is Snow White, as we have, not one, but two takes on the classic tale coming down the pipe.

First we have Snow White and the Hutsman, which initially looked exactly like Red Riding Hood, i.e., a teen angst fueled "interpretation" of a classic fable. While the inclusion of Kristen Stewart brings some of that in, the rest looks surprisingly well done. We have Charlize Theron playing head bitch as the Queen, and Chris Hemsworth as the titular huntsman who tracks down Snow White and apparently joins her cause. This looks to be a decent, high adventure, with plenty of battles and fantasy.



And then we have Mirror, Mirror. Uh... ok? Where to begin with this one? This looks terrible. Absolutely atrocious! Very disappointing when you consider who'd involved. It's being directed by Tarsem Singh, who just gave the highly entertaining Immortals, and stars Julia Roberts, Sean Bean, Lily Collins, Nathan Lane, and Armie Hammer. Despite all that goodness, this movie looks awful. It seems they are going for a bubbly comedy, but all the jokes here suck, big time! It's not even visually interesting, which, given Singh's involvement, is really shocking. Not looking forward to this one.



I can't believe I'm more excited for a movie starring Bella Swan than a movie staring Ned Stark, but... oh well. C'est la vie!