What Is Wrong With Me?

I can't believe I'm about to admit this, but, I'm sort of excited for New Moon to come out in a few months. I know, I know, I just lost a whole ton of dignity right there, but consider my rationale. I complained in my review that Twilight suffered from stilted characters and acting, a general lack of style, and, above all, a horridly depressing color palette. That, and the vampires just didn't seem scary. Well, style, color, and scary seem to have been taken care of if the new images that show Michael Sheen and Dakota Fanning as two members of the Volturi are anything to go on. Not only do they look scary as hell (Fanning especially), but there is an excess of color other then gray. Whether the acting is good is anyone's guess. I don't know. Could it be that the change of director has set this series on track? We'll see in November...

Another Brief Little Thing

District 9 has been beat! (500) Days of Summer is the best film of the year. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel both turn in the two best performances I've seen this year, indeed, two of the best of the decade! In it's entire 95 minute run time, there's not one dull or inauthentic moment; not one performance falters even once. This is a wonderful movie. Dare I say, a perfect movie! A

Absurd Alternate Timelines Have Never Been So Awesome!

I'm on a movie high right now. I'm still reeling from the brilliance that was District 9, the trailer for Avatar has been replayed on my computer on average a grand total of 100 times, I saw The Road Warrior for the first time yesterday, and the new Quentin Tarantino movie just decided to grace audiences with its presence. This is a review of that film! Inglourious Basterds is the latest from the master of pulp, fatuous, bullshit, and is as historically accurate as it is grammatically correct. It's also too long, often boring, but, still an incredibly entertaining experience to sit through.

Basterds tells a few stories. All of them are set in WWII around the time the Allies invaded Normandy. Under the leadership of Lt. Aldo Raine, eight Jewish-American soldiers, nicknamed "The Bastards" have been carving a swath of death through Nazi occupied France, killing and scalping every Nazi that they see. On the other side of the spectrum, we have Shosanna, a Jew who escaped the brutal murder of her family from the Nazi's and now runs a cinema in Paris. Then, we have Col. Hans Landa, a Nazi SD officer, who is the man behind the death of Shosanna's family, and who is hot on the trail of The Bastards. All these stories converge at Shosanna's cinema, where the Nazi's are hosting a gala premier of a new propaganda film, at which all the members of German high command, including Hitler himself, are attending. So, naturally, The Bastards devise a plan to blow the place to hell, Shosanna puts her elaborate revenge into action, and Landa turns up to throw a wrench into their plans. In classic Tarantino fashion, Basterds is convoluted, confusing on the first viewing, and elaborate in ways that put other elaborate plots to shame. Like Kill Bill, Basterds is told in chapters, the titles of which are hysterical. This is Tarantino at his best. 

Acting wise, Basterds is just as strong as any other Tarantino movie. I don't know what it is about him, but Tarantino just manages to bring out the best in his actors. Brad Pitt is a bundle of ridiculousness and hilarity as Raine, the Lt. with a penchant for scalping Nazis, or, as he says it, Nah'zis. With this and Burn After Reading last year, Pitt is quickly showing us that he has serious chops when it comes to being so ridiculously absurd, it's uncomfortable. Other members of the Bastards also turn in fine performances, including Eli Roth as the baseball bat wielding Donny "The Bear Jew" Donowitz, B.J. Novak as Smithson "The Little Man" Utivich, and Til Schweiger as the Nazi-turned-Bastard Hugo Stiglitz. Diane Kruger shows up as a german actress who is spying for the British. She does a fine job for the hour or so that she's on screen. Melanie Laurent does a superb job as the vengeful Shosanna. Her revenge is one of the best put together you will ever see. All of these performances pale in comparison to one person, and that one person is Christoph Waltz as Col. Landa. He won the Best Actor award at Cannes a few months back, and he is sure to get an Oscar nomination. He is so friggin' good in this movie, this pathetic little review doesn't do him justice. He is at one moment, charming as hell, and the next, so evil and malicious you want nothing more then to jump into the frame and punch him. Every line uttered by him is solid gold, and since this is the infamous Tarantino dialogue we are dealing with, the quality of the gold is significantly higher then usual. He is simply perfectly cast and steals the entire movie. He is to this movie what Samuel L. Jackson was to Pulp Fiction.  Tarantino is known to cast the right people in his movies, and Basterds is no exception. 

Now, as we all know, I'm a huge Tarantino fan. I love pretty much every single one of his movies, including Death Proof. When it comes to interesting and original stories with the most easily quotable dialogue anywhere, Tarantino does it unlike anyone. In terms of interesting and original story, Basterds is right up there with Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill. In terms of dialogue, it falters a bit. Seeing as this is war film, a lot of it is subtitled. There are in fact entire chapters that are more or less entirely subtitled. For some reason, when writing for these scenes, Tarantino seemed to lose his mojo. It's not that the writing for these scenes is bad, it's still remarkably good. But it's just not the witty, roll-of-your-tongue ridiculous type of dialogue we've come to expect from Tarantino. It's nothing any other person couldn't write. It's made doubly obvious when you hear the english segments, because they are classic, bullshit spewing, hysterical Tarantino. The talk between Landa and Raine near the end of the movie is one the best things Tarantino has ever written. It's no "Royale with cheese", but it's close. Also, as is custom in his movies, Tarantino's characters love to talk... a lot. This is fine in his other movies, where the dialogue is so funny and interesting. Here, however, where a good amount of the scenes include 30+ minutes of subtitled dialogue, it's just not as interesting. There's one scene in a tavern that just goes on for forever and a Wednesday. I checked my watch, maybe, three times during that. Also, this movie is LONG! Like really long. It goes on for 2 and a half hours. Needless I was a little restless halfway through. I can't even bear to think about what it was like at Cannes, before Tarantino made cuts and all. All this is forgiven though when we get to the finale, which is spectacular. I don't want to give anything away, but I will say this. I approve of the alternate history Tarantino has cooked up. If only it were that easy. 

Don't get me wrong, Inglourious Basterds is a great movie. You're hard pressed to see something this original and entertaining anywhere. Tarantino lets his usual problems hamstring him yet again, but regardless, this is one of, if not the, most fully realized movies he's has made! 

A-

Random Avatar Screen Grabs

Do me a favor. Look at these pictures. Process them for a little bit. Then come to me, and try to tell me that this movie won't be awesome! I'll wait...

Romance!

EPIC!

Notice the big thing that's about to eat him!

The Na'vi get riled up!

Come on, how can you say this won't be cool?

Zoe Saldana in mourning.

The animals flee!

Sam Worthington ROARS!

The humans roll out!

This is a trip!

Avatar Trailer

The trailer for Avatar, the new special effects extravaganza by James Cameron, arguably the most anticipated movie of the year, just went live on Apple. The trailer apparently does not do justice to the extremely high quality CGI on display in the film, but it still looks awesome regardless. Completely dialogue free, the trailer sets up the planet that Sam Worthington and his crew run around in. Based on this trailer, it doesn't look incredibly spectacular, but James Cameron has had this cooking in his head for 14 years. I fully expect nothing less then a masterpiece from him, one that will hopefully wash the sour taste of Titanic out of my mouth. 

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/avatar/

G.I. Joe Follow Up

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT go into G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra for second viewing. I tell this for your own good. For you see, on the second viewing, all that awesomeness that I made reference to in my review has been thrown out the window, and the film just plain sucks. I laughed, but only because I was riffing on the whole thing with a friend of mine. If you see it once, you will enjoy it. See it a second time, you may want to go out and commit a crime! Think of the innocent civilians out there, and only see G.I. Joe once. 

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is still good...

New Grade: C-

Welcome to District 9! Enjoy Your Stay!

It has happened. Summer 2009 finally has its Dark Knight. I was beginning to worry that we wouldn't have a blockbuster of exceptional quality this year. Sure, Star Trek was fantastic, Transformers and G.I. Joe were goofy fun, and Terminator: Salvation exceeded my, albeit incredibly low, expectations. But none of them delivered something fresh, exciting, and ingenious enough to make it stand out this year they way Christopher Nolan's masterpiece did last year. Well, all that has changed with District 9. Here is a movie so brilliant in its setup, so masterful with its execution, and so profound with its impact that I'm getting goosebumps just talking about it. It's not a stretch to say that District 9 is the best movie of the summer, the best movie of the year, and, quite possibly, the best sci-fi movie to come out since Terminator 2. 

Right from the get go, you know that District 9 is not your typical alien movie. The massive mothership that the visitors arrived in 28 years ago is not a shiny weapon of mass destruction. Its a decrepit junk pile that accidently landed on Earth. It does not settle over New York, or Washington DC, or Chicago, or Paris, or Moscow, or Shanghai, or any other big, easily recognizable, city. Instead, it settles of Johannesburg, South Africa. The aliens themselves are not super powered killing machines, but malnourished, disease ridden, refugees looking for salvation. So, ever since contact was made, humans, led by a nefarious corporation, MNU, have forced the aliens to live in a slum, titled District 9. Tensions have been flaring for quite awhile, leading to riots and increased violence between humans and the "Prawns", as the they are called. So, MNU has devised a operation to move the residents of District 9 from their home to, essentially, a concentration camp of sorts, the purpose of which is to keep the aliens separate from humans. Heading up this operation is Wikus Van De Merwe, a meek little man with no love for the visitors. Something happens to him during the operation, and soon, he goes from being a nobody to the most important man in the world, a man who everyone wants to get their hands on. Writer/director Neill Blomkamp has done a fantastic job crafting this beautifully told and original story. It is unlike anything you have seen before. 

Acting wise, District 9 is sublime. Sharlto Copley, as Wikus, is simply superb. He was basically unknown everywhere until, well, until today, but I suspect that he will lead a very profitable and prestigious career from here. As Wikus, he comes in as more comic relief then anything, but emerges in the end as completely different man, a man who is scared and confused with the responsibilities thrown on him, but determined to stay strong and make things right. His character arc is one of the best I have ever seen. He's the only one I'm going to mention, but just so you know, everyone else here is excellent as well, from Wikus' distraught wife, to the supremely evil leader of a group of mercenaries tasked with "keeping the peace" in District 9. Everyone here is worth seeing. 

Director Neill Blomkamp, along with producer Peter Jackson, have crafted one terrific film here. Everything here is handled with such loving hands, you can't but marvel at how great the final product is. Blomkamp shoots with primarily handheld cameras, which gives the film a very realistic quality. Indeed, the first thirty or so minutes leading up to Wikus' accident are seen through the eyes of documentary film crew's lens. Interspersed through all this is some surprisingly funny humor, lot's of genuine heart, and really, REALLY, satisfying violence. As the situation in District 9 heats up, and the various sides at odds with each other begin to take up arms, the screen crackles and pops with excitement so visceral, that you will find yourself gripping the arm of the person next to you. I know I did. I was sitting next to a stranger. It was a little awkward. Another thing that bears praising are the special effects. Peter Jackson's team at WETA are notorious for giving us beautiful CGI. The filled the screen with thousands of orcs in Lord of the Rings, made the most realistic giant ape ever in King Kong, and they have done it again with District 9. Every alien is CGI creation, but you don't realize that when you are watching the movie. These aliens are emotive, the move the way you would expect creatures of their stature to move, they behave and react with the environment around them very realistically. The human actors around them also do a great job. They, of course, had to work with a wood doll, or something, but you wouldn't guess that when you see it. WETA have outdone themselves. Gollum is officially old news. 

As I'm sure you figured out by reading this, I absolutely love this movie! Usually, this is the spot where I talk about flaws with the project, but, I'll be honest, I can't find any flaws, and that's because District 9 is in a completely different category then anything else I have seen in a good while. It joins the ranks of The Dark Knight, Terminator 2, and The Matrix, in that its a summer blockbuster that tries something new. It takes a risk. It tells a story unlike any we have seen, and it pulls it off with flying colors. From it's unsettling beginning to its heart wrenching ending, District 9 had me! It administers that massive jolt of quality that this summer needed. In a season ruled by anamorphic robots, murderous cyborgs, pissed off mutants, pointy eared Vulcans, living museum pieces, and badass commandos, this summer has had no shortage of science fiction. District 9 blows them all out of the water! See it! 

A