Have you noticed the trend? Aliens love our pathetic, blue planet! Don't ask me why, but, for some strange reason, all they want to do is come on over to our side of the universe and blow the hell out of us! Ok, anyway, since America loves a happy ending, and the total extermination of the human race would kill any chance of a profitable sequel, the humans always win. Here's the thing though, they always win at the very last minute! How do they do this? Some wonderful coincidence (War of the Worlds) or some guy who suddenly has a brilliant idea to bring down the invaders that he/she totally could have figured out in the beginning (Independence Day).
God, people! I'm laying all this out for you! I'm thinking of your own damn survival! Why won't you listen? Christ, you guys are thick!
Really? It took the whole movie to come up with that?
The Lesson: In the event of an alien invasion, just sit tight! Something will come along that will soundly defeat the invaders! Don't worry! Hollywood doesn't have the balls to kill off the entire human race! You'll be fine!
It's time to root through some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will be alluded to today?
What is our major malfunction that makes vampires so appealing to us? I mean, seriously, let's tick em' off, why don't we! Eclipse, Daybreakers, True Blood, Let Me In, and The Vampire Diaries have graced us with their bloodsucking presence this year alone! Priest will soon be added to that list!
It's the future, and the world has been torn apart by wars with vampires! Out of the ashes, religion has risen, leading the people into a bleak, but safe existence! Vampires are still a threat though, so, to combat the demonic bastards, the church trains priests, ultimate badasses who jump really high and do cool things with silver! All's beautiful and starshine until one of the priests, Ivan Issacs, has his niece abducted in a vampire attack! Rather then heed his order's ruling to do nothing, he turns his back on his superiors and stages a one man war to save her!
Paul Bettany is Issacs! I don't know. I've never been able to accept Bettany as a badass action hero, but, he looks alright here! Cam Gigandet and Maggie Q are his sidekicks in whooping ass! They look alright, but the trailer doesn't show enough of them for me to formulate an opinion. One person I'm excited as hell about is Karl Urban as man bad guy, Black Hat. That image of him conducting music as the town burns behind him looks so sweet! He's back on the a-list now, thanks to Star Trek, so I'm anxious to see how he does! Also, Stephen Moyer, aka Bill from True Blood, is in it! I'm down!
The trailer looks very cool, but I'm still apprehensive. That's because Priest is made by the exact same team behind the God-awful Legion earlier this year! Granted, Priest looks a whole hell of a lot better than that festival of mediocrity, but, even so. It get's you worried! Otherwise, I love the look of the movie, and I dig the vibe of mixing old west tones with a futuristic setting, although no one will ever be able to pull that off as well as Joss Whedon! The action looks fun, and I'm very interested to see how they play with the idea of religion taking on the role of a totalitarian regime!
On another note, what the hell kind of vampires are these?
The Question: So, the name change is happening. Here are some options I came up with! I have a favorite, but I want to see how the others sound to you. Weigh in!
1. Cinematic Snark: 3 Votes (Yeah, kinda cliched, but it fit the bill!)
2. How the Massacre of Sonny Corleone Affected a Teenager, and Other Things of That Nature: 3 Votes (Too long! Wasn't really taking it seriously when I put it in the pot, but, guess it was well received!)
3. Films From the Supermassive Black Hole: 5 Votes (Is my borderline unhealthy obsession with Muse that obvious?)
4. The 9th Rule of Fight Club: 2 Votes (Would've been cool, but something tells me there's a blog out there that already came up with that.)
Well children! It looks like you and I think alike! Films From the Supermassive Black Hole was my top choice! Give me a few hours to change up the layout and put the finishing touches on my banner, but, by the end of the day, you'll see a brand, spanking new blog in this space! Hopefully one with a more interesting layout (Here's looking at you Nick!). Thanks guys!
