April 14, 2011

According to the Movies #29

If the movies say it, it must be true!

This week's lesson is in honor of Scream 4 being released this Friday.

One of the scary things about living in the Scream universe is that the Ghostface costume is so easy to come by. If their not giving out the things at movie theaters or hanging a bunch of em' in a studio closet somewhere, you can find one in your local Spirit store. So, that means, anyone could be the killer, since anyone can get their hands on the getup. And since you are a rational human being who doesn't want to get gutted by Sydney Prescott's latest would be murderer, there are some things you should do.

Lesson 1: Pay attention to your local costume stores. If someone buys a Ghostface costume, hunt that bastard down, slap them, and burn that thing.

Lesson 2: Ban Ghostface costumes.

Lesson 3: If you are going to get stabbed in the back, make sure you have Dewey's back. Seriously. That thing is friggin' resilient.

Poor Randy. That was uncalled for.

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