March 6, 2009

As Faithful As It Gets

Ow! My neck hurts. I told them that it would be a bad idea to go back to his house to hang out, as everyone would show up early and steal the good seats, but teenagers never listen to reason. So, as fate would have it, we were stuck in the front row. The very front row, which is a shame, because Watchmen is not a movie that you watch in the front row. You'll be doing yourself a disservice. Watchmen has been 20 odd years in the making, and, after careful thought, this 2 hour 47 minute beaste that has been bestowed upon us is the best version we could possibly get.
Watchmen takes place in an alternate 1985, one where America won Vietnam, where Nixon is still president, where Americans and the Soviets are on the brink of nuclear war, and where superheroes are not characters on a comic page, but real life people, whose exploits have been outlawed. One of these masks, The Comedian, is brutally murdered one night, prompting the last remaining vigilantes to come out of retirement and find out the reason behind this killing. Soon they discover a conspiracy engineered by a sinister foe, whose agenda will have consequences the world over. The story is based on the Alan Moore graphic novel of the same name, and follows it to the note, with the odd change here and there. Moore, disappointed with previous film adaptations of his work, and rightfully so, asked that his name be taken off the film, the idiot. 
Watchmen features a talented cast comprised of less famous stars then one would expect for a movie of this type. Credits include Jackie Earl Haley as the psychopathic, masked vigilante Rorschach, Patrick Wilson as the Batman ripoff Nite Owl/Dan Dreiberg, Malin Ackerman as the sexy, latex wearing Silk Spectre/Laurie Juspeczyk, Matthew Goode as the world's smartest man Ozymandias/Adrian Veidt, Jeffery Dean Morgan as the hard hearted, beefy Comedian/Edward Blake, and Billy Crudup as the naked, blue, God among men, Dr. Manhattan. Most of the performances are first rate, especially Haley as Rorschach. He adopts a Clint Eastwood growl for his masked sociopath, and pulls it off incredibly well. It's a hard thing to accomplish, making us care for a character whose face we barely get to see, but he pulls it off. The two other stand outs are Wilson and Morgan. Wilson, who was last seen in the awful Lakeview Terrace, is really convincing as this man who is lost without the costume, and finds rebirth in it. Morgan is revelation as The Comedian. He's in the movie the least of all the characters, which is a shame, because he is so damn good in those few scenes that you can't help but wish to see him again. The other three performances don't fare quite as well. Billy Crudup is fine as the CGI creation he portrays, and he does a great job at bringing emotion to this superman slowly losing touch with humanity, a role that could have been one note. Unfortunately, he forgot to translate that emotion into his voice, which stays the on the same level of detachment for the whole movie. It works to a certain extent, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't annoyed. Goode is fine as Veidt, but he's miscast. He's simply not right for the role, from his stature and physique, to his accent and hair color. Everything is just wrong. He does a good job, nonetheless. I can't say the same for Ackerman as Silk Spectre. She is easily the movie's weakest link. She does an average job as the super hot, Wonder Womanesque, caped crusader, but compared to the caliber of some of the other performances, it just falls flat. There isn't much to say about supporting performances. The movie centers around these six characters, and doesn't deviate from them at all. 
Director Zach Snyder is a smart man, and a fanboy in every sense of the word. The source material he is working with, is, without question, the absolute best of it's kind to ever come around. Watchmen, the graphic novel, stands as the marker where comics became more then just flashy cartoons, but a legitimate means to tell a story. It took superhero cliches, and promptly threw them out the window. It played with the idea of superheroes being real, flawed people. It told a dark, violent, and sad story, the likes of which had never been seen before. Snyder, who last helmed 300, is aware of this, and flat out refused to not make his movie anything less then a faithful representation. You get the sense that every single thing put in the frame was put there for a reason, from a picture on the dresser, to a piece of paper blowing in the wind. This is nothing less then the most faithful comic book adaptation ever made. There are countless shots in the film that could be compared to the drawings they mirror in the book, and there would be barely any difference. Snyder sticks to the plot of the book for the majority of the film, providing the right amount of exposition in the brilliant opening credits sequence, and occasionally making a few changes. His insatiable lust for blood that he showed us in 300 is used to full effect here; there is some seriously brutal shit in this movie. Snyder had to extend a lot of the action scenes from the book, but he does a fantastic job. He creates excitement the right way, by staging intelligent and well thought out fights, rather then just shaking the camera around. It is great, but then, he fucks up and changes the ending. All you fanboys out there, take a moment of silence; there is no squid. (WARNING: HERE, THERE BE SPOILERS. HIGHLIGHT TO READ, IF YOU WANT) At the end of the movie and the book, the culprit behind the conspiracy has been revealed to be Veidt. In both, the end goal is the same. Veidt planned to destroy major cities around the world in order to unite the nations of Earth against a common threat, preventing nuclear war. In the book, he artificially creates a massive alien, which he has teleported to NYC, whereby the creatures mind literally explodes, causing mass destruction in the city. In the movie, well, it involved Dr. Manhattan. I apologize for giving this away, but you were warned.(SPOILERS END HERE) The book ending worked because the threat that was engineered was a legitimate reason for the countries to put aside there differences and unite. It seems so much more far fetched in the movie.  
There are other problems to be sure. For one, who ever was in charge of makeup for the actors portraying Nixon and Kissinger should be slapped. Seriously, I more believed Frank Langella as the real Nixon then whatever the hell the Nixon in Watchmen is supposed to be. Also, Snyder has a slight obsession with slow motion sex scenes. The one sex scene in the book has been extended here, and set to "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen. Are you kidding me? I hate that song. I hated in Shrek and I hate it here. It turns the one of the few scenes of actual passion in the movie into one of the most cringe inducing scenarios that ever involved T&A! Speaking of "Hallelujah", the soundtrack here is hit or miss. All the songs work by themselves; the "Music From the Motion Picture" album is really good. But, when you see where the songs are placed in the movie, you can't help but wonder what Snyder was thinking. I understand the use of Dylan and Hendrix, but why Simon & Garfunkel and who ever the hell wrote "99 Luftballoons". Also, some key scenes in the book are mysteriously absent in the movie, like the murder of a mentor of Wilson's character, or the Tales of the Black Freighter sub comic (which will be released on DVD and the eventual Directors Cut). 
Watchmen is an "event movie", in every sense of the term. It is selling out theaters all over the country, features countless thrills, and will leave you satisfied in the end. But it achieves so much more then that. Like The Dark Knight, it goes deeper then most comic book films, delving into the psyche of the masked avengers on display, rather then just having them beat up on the bad guy, 'cough' Spider-Man 'cough'. Zach Snyder has done the impossible and filmed the unfilmable graphic novel, and managed to not muck it up too badly. Some of the choices he made ruin the overall experience, and keep it back from achieving true greatness. Watchmen could have easily been the best superhero movie ever, bar none. As it stands, it's second in my book. Damn it Snyder, if you had just kept the damn squid! A-

February 22, 2009

A Night in the Kodak Theatre

Here we go. It's going to be an exciting night; the night where so many people's dreams will come true or be utterly shattered. Not really, but a lot of people will lose a shit ton of money on their Oscar pools. For those who missed the show, here are the minutes. 

4:40: Brad and Angelina show up. The announcer on E! News goes bat shit crazy, which is to be expected. Ryan Seacrest chats up Penelope Cruz (she's gonna win tonight), Marion Cottillard, and others. The fashion people critique all the dresses. God, I hate these pre-show, red carpet exposes. Kate Winslet looks hot though. 

4:55: Ben Lyons predicts that Slumdog Millionaire will win Best Picture. Completely obvious and safe predictions for the win!!!! Robert Downey Jr. is clean shaven. What the hell is going on here? 

5:00: Josh Brolin sure as hell looks sexy. Diane Lane is a lucky woman. 25 minutes to go. Frank Langella prattles on about how he grew to love Nixon the man. Brad and Angelina seem to be in a hurry to get inside, seeing as they are not talking to anyone. Valentino sounds like he has emphysema, which he just might. 

5:10: The entire cast of Slumdog Millionaire, literally, the entire cast, mob the interviewer. Mickey Rourke still looks like a bad boy. 

5:20: The two most famous accountants in the world (tonight) stroll down the carpet with the winning envelopes. I can only imagine the security that has been thrown on those guys. Richard Jenkins is too damn modest!! 10 minutes.  

5:25: Is the bar the only place the funny people hang out? I would personally love to have cocktails with Jack Black. Can't say he would love to have them with me. 

Here we go!!

5:30: Wow this is lavish. Enter Hugh Jackman. Cue the funny monologue, which is actually pretty damn funny. Wait, what the hell is this? He's singing? HUH? Now he's dancing? Are these really the Oscars? He kidnapped Anne Hathaway!! Jesus Christ! Oh, wait, she was in on it. Oh my god, she has a voice. This song is actually really damn hysterical. I'm WOLVERIIIIIIINE!!!
 
5:40: Now that's over, he starts roasting all the nominees. Great. I'm starting to think that Meryl Streep is on roids now. Thanks Jackman. 

5:42: Yay, montage of acceptance speeches of Best Supporting Actress. It's all too introduce five previous winners, including Whoopi Goldberg, Eva Marie Saint, and Tilda Swinton. 

5:45: Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz. Oh, that's a big surprise. If she didn't start crying, this would be one of the most cliched acceptance speeches ever. And she even apes Javier Bardem and finishes off in Spanish. Uggg... it's gonna be a long night. Why did they do this one first? Why didn't they get on of the boring ones out of the way in the beginning instead of one people actually care about?

5:55: Best Original Screenplay: Egads, Tina Fey and Steve Martin are so brilliant. C'mon In Bruges, COME ON!!! Oh, well, Milk deserved it as well. Congrats to Dustin Lance Black. Good speech man. Way to sneak in a political, Obama, like promise. 

6:00: Best Adapted Screenplay: God damn, Tina Fey and Steve Martin are hysterical. OK, and the winner is, Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog Millionaire. Oh, good, for a second there I didn't think he would thank Danny Boyle.

6:05: Best Animated Film: Jack Black and Jennifer Aniston bicker about how much money can be made by staring in an animated film. Then comes a montage of the animated movies this year, from Madagascar to Star Wars, as seen by WALL-E, who enjoys the hell out of it. Then, comes the actual award. It sucks that Black is up there. I mean, presenting an award that your film is up for, only to lose. Ooo... burn. Go WALL-E!!

6:10: Best Animated Short: Jack Black is such a narcissist. And the Oscar goes to, La Maison... oh, I can't spell that. Amazing that Pixar actually didn't win in an animated award. Nice short speech. We like that. 

Why are they getting all the ones that people care about out of the way first? I know they're trying to cut down on the show time, but seriously? At this rate, we'll have an hour of technical awards to end the show, and no one wants that.

Oh, I get it, we are going through the process of making a movie. Start with the script, then the technical awards, and so on. Ok, that's cool. 

6:17: Art Direction: Daniel Craig, smoldering as ever, presents with Sarah Jessica Parker. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button wins the first of it's many technical awards. 

6:20: Costume Design: As a rule of thumb, the movie with the most hoop skirts wins this one. So, The Duchess will walk away with this one. Yep, it never changes. Man, these things are so predictable. 

6:23: Makeup: I'd like to see The Dark Knight win here. But, of course, Brad Pitt was convincingly made into an old fart. So, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button takes Oscar number two. 

6:35: Oh good, Edward Cullen comes on with the chick from Mamma Mia to give us a retrospective of romance in 2008, set to a Coldplay song. Wow, this thing is pretty lukewarm. 

6:32: Cinematography: Ben Stiller parodies Joaquin Pheonix, including the massive beard. So brilliant. Slumdog Millionaire takes this one. 

6:40: Jessica Biel comes on to talk about some dude who pioneered CGI, then back to a commercial. What was the point of that?

6:45: The retrospective of comedies in 2008, as seen by Seth Rogen and James Franco, as directed by Judd Apatow. Comic Gold. Pure comic gold!! I now want make an Oscar statue into a weed pipe. 

6:47: Best Live Action Short: Rogen, Franco, and the Cinematographer from Saving Private Ryan. The winner is... uhh... something I can't pronounce. Check IMDB.

6:52: Hugh Jackman pitches us an idea for a musical, as created by Baz Luhrmann. This guy can sing. I'm impressed. Oh, wait, is that Beyonce? Yes, yes it is. All the men watching this suddenly started paying very close attention. It's a mash up of every single musical movie ever made. WHAT THE FUCK???? What the hell are Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgen's doing there? Oh great, the Mamma Mia couple are there. THE MUSICAL IS BACK!!!!!!!!

7:02: Best Supporting Actor: Presented by the likes of Christopher Walken, Kevin Kline, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Alan Arkin. Prediction: And the Oscar goes to Heath Ledger. Verdict: Yep. I was right! Oh, this speech is heartbreaking. Just heartbreaking. 

7:11: The retrospective of documentaries in 2008.

7:14: Best Documentary: Bill Maher presents this award. He muses about how his documentary didn't get noticed at all. Then he insults God, but it's in good humor, so don't worry. No surprise, Man on Wire takes this one. They even get the guy who walked the rope on to the stage, where he proceeds to balance an Oscar on his face. Good move. 

7:16: Best Documentary Short Subject: Maher presents again. Smile Pinki wins here. We're half way done. Stick with me here. 

7:24: Retrospective of action movies. Did every action movie this year involve a balls to the wall car chase? I think so, according to this. 

7:24: Outstanding Visual Effects: Enter Will Smith. We get it, he loves action movies. Who will win this? Answer: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Yeah, that one was kind of in the bag. 

7:29: Outstanding Sound Editing: Way to mess up your lines there Will. Yay, The Dark Knight takes Oscar number two. 

7:31: Outstanding Sound Mixing: Will's not done yet. And the Oscar goes to Slumdog Millionaire. "This is unbelievable. We can't believe this." Amazing word choice there my friend. 

7:35: Outstanding Editing: Jesus, Smith, you are being overworked. Once again, Slumdog Millionaire. This beast in unstoppable. Danny Boyle flashes a thumbs up. Priceless.

7:42: Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award: Eddie Murphy, no doubt still smarting from his Oscar robbery two years ago, presents this award to Jerry Lewis. He narrates a montage of Lewis footage, set to Viva La Vida, and Wonderwall. Lewis then takes the stage. Here comes the longest speech of the night, historically. Well not tonight. That was really concise. We love you Jerry!!!

7:50: Jackman introduces a medley of the original scores up for contention. It sounds great. 

7:53: Best Original Score: Alicia Keys comes out with Zac Efron to present. And of course, Slumdog Millionaire wins. We've had a bunch of Indian winners so far for this movie, and this is the first one to slip some Hindi into his speech. About damn time. 

7:55: Best Original Song: Alicia Keys messes up her lines. Instead of the usual deal where the songs are performed in their entirety, we get this 5 minute mash up of the three nominees. What a cop out. Peter Gabriel didn't show up to perform his song from WALL-E, so they got John Legend. A fair trade. And then to top it all off, they don't even perform the dance from the movie for Jai Ho. That's a shame. Then they start blending the two songs. What the hell? And then the Oscar goes to Jai Ho. Not a surprise. Only Foreign Language, Actress, Actor, Director and Picture left. 

8:05: Foreign Language Film: Liam Neeson, with Slumdog Millionaire's Freida Pinto on his arm, presents this. Surprisingly, Waltz With Bashir does not win. Instead, Departures, from Japan, takes it. 

8:11: Here's the incredibly long "in memorium" montage. It's a bit different this year, since Queen Latifah is singing a song over it. It's pretty good. The big ones on display here are Charlton Heston, Paul Newman, Sydney Pollack, and Bernie Mac.

8:18: Best Director: Best Actress winner Reese Witherspoon presents this. To no one's surprise, Danny Boyle takes this one. It's about damn time. He starts jumping on the stage with glee; he is apparently imitating Tigger, as part of a deal with his kids. He thanks a whole ton of people. He even thanks the guy who choreographed the ending dance sequence, whom he apparently left out of the credits. Smooth!

8:25: Best Actress: Presented by the likes of Sofia Loren, Shirley McClaine, Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman, and Marion Cotillard. It's between Meryl Streep and Kate Winslet, and the winner is... (drumroll)... Kate Winslet. Finally. After six snubs, my God, it was getting annoying! She gives a great speech, even throwing a few jokes at Meryl. 

8:36: Best Actor: Presented by the likes of Robert DeNiro, Ben Kingsley, Anthony Hopkins, Adrian Brody, and Michael Douglas. It's between Sean Penn and Mickey Rourke, and the Oscar goes to... (drumroll)... Sean Penn. Well, I don't mind. He was brilliant, you commie, homo-loving, sons of guns. 

8:47: Best Picture: Steven Speildberg, the guy Jackman's been trying to impress for the whole night despite his fake Australian accent, presents this. Before the big moment, a large montage of the nominees, and the movies that obviously influenced them, is shown. And the big winner is, not surprisingly, Slumdog Millionaire!!!!. Woot. The entire crew mobs the stage. It's a good moment. An indie film takes the Oscar again. 

Well, that's the show. Jackman gives his tip of the hat, and ends the ceremonies. All in all, it was a pretty good show. Jackman was certainly funny, and gave a great performance. It was certainly the most lavish Oscars to date. All things considered, it was worth watching.  

February 15, 2009

Stupidity, On An Astounding Level!


What better to celebrate the holiday of love and giving by going to the movies to watch college kids get slaughtered by a man in a hockey mask? It seems as if remakes, or "re-boots", of popular horror franchises are fast becoming all the rage lately. We got The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes a few years ago, Halloween and The Hitcher last year, and Nightmare on Elm Street to look forward to. But for now, we have to make do with Friday the 13th, yet another blood and boob filled slasher movie that takes place in a world where no one watches slasher movies. 
Friday the 13th begins at a pretty good pace. We get a, about, 20 minute prologue, in which a couple of teens on a camping trip indulge in their carnal desires, and as such, get a machete to the face. Fast forward six weeks, and we get to the actual premise of the film. The brother of one of the teens that went missing has come to Camp Crystal Lake to search for her. Along the way, he runs into another group of teens who are up there for the weekend with only a few intentions. Drink, get high, and fuck. I think you can figure out where this is going. Little do these teens know, but they've stumbled upon the hunting ground of the most tenacious serial killer, EVER, Jason Voorhees. Blood flows like wine, clothes fall like leaves. It's business as usual. 
Most of the cast are throwaways. You got your honorable guy who you know will survive, the nice girl who you know will survive, the smooth, sex machine who you know is going to meet a horrible end, the douche bag host who you know is going to meet the most satisfying death, the two awkward guys that look out for each other who you know will die within five minutes of each other, and the resident hotties, who you know will get naked, and then die. The only real standout is Jared Padalecki as the brother. I like him; he's been pretty good on Supernatural and Gilmore Girls. He is the only one that has some real meat to work with in his role. Plus, he looks really good, so there's that. Everyone else is just there to screw each other and spill bodily fluids. 
The movie a has a cool sense of style, thanks to some pretty nifty direction from Marcus Nispel (Texas Chainsaw Massacre). He does deliver some startling moments, and some pretty inventive kills. Jason is a resourceful fellow, let's leave it at that. Unfortunately, he also delivers unto us, once again, a slasher movie drenched in cliches. Friday the 13th follows all the rules set down by it's older siblings, and follows them to the note. Everyone who doesn't act like a God fearing Christian, dies. I'm not even kidding. The survivors, in the end, didn't drink, get high, or fuck each other. Everyone who did... well, you get the idea. It's kind of annoying that the director got a great opportunity thrown at him and didn't do anything special with it. Friday the 13th is the exact same thing we've seen from all the horror movie "re-boots" in the last ten years, where people do the stupidest things they could possibly thing of, and, as punishment, get a knife shoved into their throats. 
I may seem on the fence here, and that's because I am. I can't decide whether or not I should crucify Friday the 13th or just let it be. I'll admit, I was kind of entertained. It's so god damn ridiculous, I couldn't help it. I guess if I view on it's own merits, there's really nothing to complain about. We all knew the acting would suck; we all the knew the characters would act really stupid; we all knew that enough blood would be spilled to fill a lake. For the people who enjoy that sort of stuff, this will do just fine; it is one of the better slasher "re-boots" to come along in a while. But, on the other hand, I had a really hard time getting over the fact that nothing new was brought to this increasingly boring genre. All it is is just a sadistic celebration of sex and violence. So, if you enjoyed the Saw movies, The Hills Have Eyes, and can't wait to see the re-make of The Last House on the Left next month, go for it; you'll enjoy the hell out of Friday the 13th. For the rest of you, I can't in good conscience recommend it.
I give nothing away by saying that the movie ends with Padalecki and Co. dumping Jason's "dead" body into the lake. Now, before I finish up, let's review, for a second, Jason's exploits over the years, courtesy of Wikipedia. So far in the series, Jason has been drowned, sliced by a machete in the shoulder, hit with an axe in the head, supposedly cremated, aped by a copycat killer, buried, brought back to life by a lightning bolt, chained to a rock and thrown in the lake again, resurrected by telekinesis, drowned again, resurrected by an underwater electrical surge, melted by toxic waste, killed by the FBI, resurrected AGAIN through possession of another body, returned to his own body, thrown into hell, used for research, cryogenically frozen, thawed, turned into a cyborg, blown into space, freed to continue his rampage on another planet, returned to the present to face of with Freddy from Nightmare on Elm Street, and drowned again! Anyone who thinks they can kill Jason is foolish optimist! C+

February 10, 2009

12 Days and Counting

So, with the Oscars a mere twelve days away, I thought I'd fill you in on how the end of the award season is shaping up from my standpoint. A few of my predictions of winners have changed, as has my perception on few of the other nominees. So here we go. 
Best Picture, Director, Supporting Actor, and Animated have already been won. My previous predictions will be correct. Bet on that. Best Actor is the toughest to call at this point. It's between Sean Penn and Mickey Rourke. Frank Langella, Brad Pitt, and Richard Jenkins have all been shut out so far, and with less then two weeks to go in the season, they really have no chance of winning. I can't really pick a clear favorite here. Sean Penn just won a SAG for Best Actor. The winner there, traditionally, goes on to win the Oscar. But Mickey Rourke has won a Golden Globe and a BAFTA. That, and the fact that Academy voters can connect with his character more then Penn's may put him over the top. I think Rourke gave the better performance, all things considered, but if Penn wins, I won't mind in the slightest. 
On to Best Actress. You know, in hindsight, I think I was a bit too harsh on Kate Winslet at first. Now that my self-righteous rage at the snubs of Bruce Springsteen and Christopher Nolan has subsided, I can start to accept the actual nominations, instead of thinking of the ones I wish had made it. I've had a chance to go back to The Reader since the noms were announced, and, I'll be honest, I have a new found respect for it, or at least for Kate Winslet. I'm still adamant that the film should not be nominated for Best Picture, but I can't deny that Winslet is great in it. When I go back and think about it, her performance actually does resonate with me more then any other in the category. So, she has stolen my favorite to win from Meryl Streep. My prediction that she will win stays intact as well. 
I'll end with Supporting Actress. I think the best performance here is Viola Davis in Doubt. True, she has only one scene, but, damn, is she good in that one scene. The whole thing is on the NY Times website. Check it out, I hope you agree with me. Here's the link: http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/451995/Doubt/trailers
It would be great if Davis did win, but I don't think she will. She's too unknown. My prediction remains the same, Penelope Cruz. She's been racking up the awards so far, so it seems like a shoe in. But anything could happen. For all we know, the Academy could play it unsafe (unlikely, but whatever) and award it too the stripper (Marisa Tomei), the naive nun (Amy Adams), the religious mother figure (Taraji P. Henson), or the unknown, most deserving one (Davis). One can dream. I'll probably get on and review something before the ceremonies, during which I'll write up a play by play, or something. Until then, my friends. 

January 31, 2009

Hell Hath No Fury Like An Estranged Father Scorned!!

Now that my retrospectives for the past year, and my incessant bitching about the Oscar noms, have been completed, I can finally forge ahead with the real purpose of this blog; the reviews. So, how do I kick off the New Year, film wise? With Taken, or, as I prefer to think of it, Destroying Paris: How to Bring Down the Eiffel Tower, and Other Useful Skills.
Having just retired from his globe trotting, terrorist hunting job to spend more time with his family, Bryan Mills is off to a bit of a rocky start in the reconciliation department. His ex-wife, Lenore, and daughter, Kim, live a lavish life apart from him, and Bryan can't seem to fill the niche. He gets Kim a pretty stupid birthday present, while her new dad gets her... I think it's a pony, but it looks more like a thoroughbred. Anyway, he's having trouble. When Kim goes away for the summer with a friend to Paris, Bryan is less then thrilled, and with good reason. It takes Kim about five seconds to get herself kidnapped. Now, just in case it wasn't clear, Bryan really loves his daughter, so you can imagine how he takes the news of this. He goes into full revenge mode, hops on a charter plane to Paris, and proceeds to torture, shoot, cripple, maim, and kick the shit out of anyone that gets in his way. The idea of this retired geezer taking on what essentially amounts to a small army, is a bit absurd, but it's rooted in a very real and scary premise, giving this actioner a bit of legitimate weight rarely seen in films of this sort. 
Bryan is played by one of my all time favorite actors, Liam Neeson. This role is a bit of a far cry for him, given his resume. You wouldn't expect the person who played Oskar Schindler to torture a guy by stabbing him in the knees with metal nails, and then using said nails as electricity conductors. Cool scene. Any other actor would have balked at this material, and with good reason. It's a pretty shoddy script. But c'mon, it's Liam Neeson. The man can take a script, the quality of which resembles nuclear waste, and give it some sort of credibility, and he does. He's the best thing about this movie. It's a pleasure to see him in full badass mode, mowing down bad guys and what not. It's not something we get to see from him often, which makes it even more of a treat. The other major role falls to Maggie Grace as Kim. Fresh off her stint on Lost, she's pretty damn convincing as the damsel in distress. She has pretty shrill scream; I really think that's all that's needed. But no, really, she's passable. All the other roles are Eastern European slimeballs, just waiting for Neeson to give them a taste of his hot lead. Sorry, that just sounded wrong.
Director Pierre Morrel knows what he is doing when he films an action sequence. He showed us that much with the awesome District B13. This movie doesn't have Neeson performing flashy stunts and parkouring he way around Paris' buildings, though. It's much more down to earth, and, despite the PG-13 rating on the poster, much more brutal. That torture scene I made reference to earlier. That's just a taste. Rest assured, this is a tough movie to sit through if you have no tolerance for pain. Morrel sometimes gets a bit carried away with the action, pushing the limits believability in terms of what this guy can do. I find it very hard to believe that Bryan, who looks like he's pushing late 50s here, could pull off some of the stuff he does. But, I'm gonna let it slide, because Morrel knows how to craft characters we like, and characters we hate. Whenever Bryan gets a step closer to finding his daughter, usually by killing some slimy bad guy, you can't help but smile. The audience I was with even applauded at a few of the more juicy encounters. 
Now, don't get me wrong, this is not a movie to be taken seriously. Some of the stuff that happens is so absurd, you can't help rolling your eyes. The script is a little on the side of uncomfortable, and the actors, yes, even Neeson, can't really elevate above a certain level of cheese. But, when the movie reaches it's immensely satisfying, action packed final act, all sins are forgiven.
Taken is one of those movies where you must check your brain at the box office before buying the Coke and RedVines. Think too hard about it, and you will be disappointed. It's best to appreciate it on it's own merits, those being, bone crunching action, decent acting, and stylish direction. It's premise is very real world; all parents should take precautions if they let their child travel to other countries by themselves. But, if Liam Neeson is your dad, you'll be ok. Here's hoping he'll return for the sequel, Destroying Barcelona: How to Raze the Sagrada Familia, and Other Abilities Pertinent in an Action Movie! B

January 22, 2009

The Nominations, pt 2.

Here's a picture that I found on a blog that I regularly visit that pretty much sums up what I was just trying to say. 

The Nominations

Well, they're here, and we can't do anything about changing them. This years Oscar Nominations hit the mark in some areas, and completely missed it in others. So, let's break it down. 

Best Picture
Four out of five of these are the right choice. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, and the sure winner, Slumdog Millionaire, are all worthy of recognition here. But, answer me this. What the fuck is The Reader doing on this list? Don't get me wrong, The Reader is a great movie, and it deserves at least some recognition. More on that later. But it does not even come close to Best Picture worthy. The fact that this film got nominated drives home the fact that Academy loves Holocaust pictures. What should have been nominated in place of The Reader? Simple, The Dark Knight. I know, it's a comic book movie, but come on. You can't honestly say that The Dark Knight is in the same league of any comic book movie that has come before it. It was the best movie of the year, in my opinion. I just think it's a shame that the Academy voters won't take a chance and start nominating summer blockbusters for the big categories again. Oh well.

Best Director
Again, with The fucking Reader. This category I am a little less biased towards, but I still think some choices were a bit off the mark. I don't think Stephen Daldry deserved to be nominated here. This is not his best endeavor to date, Billy Elliot takes that prize. I think either Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight) or Andrew Stanton (WALL-E) should have taken his place. Nolan has consistently turned up great movies, and his vision of Gotham City was so inspired, it's a shame he has yet to be nominated. And Stanton stirred up more emotion with an animated robot then Daldry did with a flesh and blood Kate Winslet. That's gotta count for something. But, whatever. Danny Boyle is going to win this for Slumdog Millionaire. I can live with that. 

Best Actor
I have no major gripes here. I'm really glad Richard Jenkins got nominated for his fantastic performance in The Visitor. Here was a movie that kind of got lost in awards season shuffle. It's great to see it still had some steam. But, when it comes down to it, it's between Sean Penn for Milk, Frank Langella for Frost/Nixon, and, my favorite to win, Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler. Sure, Brad Pitt gives a great performance, but his curious case doesn't hold a candle to those three heavy weights. 

Best Actress
This will be the last time I complain about The Reader, I promise. First off, Kate Winslet deserves to get nominated for her role in this movie; she is brilliant. But, here's the thing, that's a supporting performance. Her role as a suburban house wife in Revolutionary Road was so much more provocative and emotive. Oh well. I have no problem  with any of the other noms. If I had to guess, I would actually say that Winslet is going to win. She has been nominated a few times before, but has never heard her name called. Enough is enough. Get her up on that stage, damn it!

Best Supporting Actor
At least the Academy didn't flake out on this one. I think it's great that Michael Shannon snatches Revolutionary Road's sole major award, and I can't help but smile at the fact that the Robert Downey Jr. got nominated for his role in Tropic Thunder. But, it's pointless to talk about them, or anybody else for that matter. Heath Ledger will win this Oscar for two reasons. A) His rendition of The Joker is not only the best performance out of these five, but of the year. B) What better way to pay respects to a major talent who went before his time? The Academy is not stupid. They will give this one to him, or risk the consequences. 

Best Supporting Actress
With Winslet out of the way, the road is paved for any of the five nominees to take this one. I think the best performance is Viola Davis in Doubt, but her performance is too small to garner any a real advantage. If there is a sure bet, it's Penelope Cruz for her role in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. She has suffered from multiple snubs before, so I think this year is the year that the Academy will acknowledge her talent. 

Best Original Screenplay
THANK GOD! The Academy must have heeded my prayers, because In Bruges was nominated. I think In Bruges has a legitimate chance of stealing the gold on Feb. 22, but the fact that it hasn't grabbed a big audience casts a little doubt over that. I think that best is either WALL-E or Milk. If I had to choose one, I would say WALL-E. I mean, Milk isn't technically an original screenplay that was cooked up in the mind of the writer. Plus, WALL-E was just the better movie. 

Best Adapted Screenplay
Yeah, no gripes here either. I think Benjamin Button takes a few too many liberties with F. Scott Fitzgerald's short story to merit any real consideration. The Reader is a bit too controversial, and we all know Academy voters don't usually go for controversial, and Doubt just hasn't gained enough momentum to have a chance. It comes down to Frost/Nixon and Slumdog Millionaire. I would actually choose Frost/Nixon as the winner because, while it didn't have the better story, it had the better script. But, this could be a sweep year for Slumdog Millionaire, so anything could happen. 

Best Animated Screenplay
Come on. Do I have to say anything? The nominees are WALL-E, Kung Fu Panda, and Bolt. Hmmm, I wonder who's gonna win that one.

So, there you go. My take on this years Oscar nominations. Expect more coverage as the date of the Awards draws closer. For now, that is all. 

Oh, wait, I'm not done yet. How the hell did Bruce Springsteen not get nominated for his amazing track for The Wrestler? That is the biggest screw up of the academy this year. Springsteen's track was far and away the best track featured at the Golden Globes, and it is far superior to the three songs nominated here. But, whatever. Here's to the cast of Slumdog Millionaire performing the dance to "Jai Ho" at the ceremonies. That would be sweet!