Since stupid mainstream America loves to see shit blow up and their hero/heroine mercilessly kill thousands of worthless henchmen, Hollywood is going to provide, and rake in mad profit! Now, I realize that it's ridiculous to analyze the realism of a balls to the wall action movie, but, then again, the whole point of this series is to point out the ridiculous aspects of movies that you might not notice! Anyway, since moviegoers want a hero/heroine they can cheer for and whose survival they need not worry about, bullets and swords and other things that can kill you don't touch the protagonist, or, if they do, don't effect them in the slightest! Arnold Schwarzenegger can run through a whole platoon of guys, gunning them down left and right, and nothing will happen to him (Commando, True Lies)! Russell Crowe can crash into a contingent of medieval soldiers, laying waste and whatnot, and receive nary a scratch (Gladiator, Robin Hood)!
The Lesson: If you are the hero/heroine in an action movie, take heart! The movie gods have bestowed thee with invincibility, and awesome badassery! You will kick so much ass, and you won't sustain a single wound! You! Are! A! God!
Disclaimer: There is a part two to this lesson! Tune in next week!
Now that the first BIG movie of the summer has reared its money guzzling head, we've entered the area of the season that I like to refer to as, "The Almost Dead Zone". For the next few weeks while we wait for the next BIG one to open, we are treated to slew of semi-big movies that were released at this time just so the studios could brag that they released a summer blockbuster. While we wait for Toy Story 3, we have to contend with MacGruber, Sex and the City 2, Prince of Persia, Get Him to the Greek, The A-Team, and The Karate Kid. However, before we get to those, we have to discuss the one that's leading this merry charge, Robin Hood (see what I did there?) After contending with the most deviously misleading marketing blitz ever, this Ridley Scott epic is here for our enjoyment. It boasts a sweeping story, a grand scale, and performances from two of the finest actors working today. What's the verdict? Eh...
