Showing posts with label Independence Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Independence Day. Show all posts

July 4, 2011

September 15, 2010

According to the Movies #10

If the movies say it, it must be true!

Have you noticed the trend? Aliens love our pathetic, blue planet! Don't ask me why, but, for some strange reason, all they want to do is come on over to our side of the universe and blow the hell out of us! Ok, anyway, since America loves a happy ending, and the total extermination of the human race would kill any chance of a profitable sequel, the humans always win. Here's the thing though, they always win at the very last minute! How do they do this? Some wonderful coincidence (War of the Worlds) or some guy who suddenly has a brilliant idea to bring down the invaders that he/she totally could have figured out in the beginning (Independence Day).

God, people! I'm laying all this out for you! I'm thinking of your own damn survival! Why won't you listen? Christ, you guys are thick!

Really? It took the whole movie to come up with that?


The Lesson: In the event of an alien invasion, just sit tight! Something will come along that will soundly defeat the invaders! Don't worry! Hollywood doesn't have the balls to kill off the entire human race! You'll be fine!

July 4, 2010

Once Upon A Time... In 1776

Happy Pyrotechnics Day everyone! Let's not be too jingoistic!