December 1, 2010

According to the Movies #19

If the movies say it, it must be true!


Have you noticed this? There has been something that bothered me about medieval films or fantasy films set in medieval times. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, until now. I was watching Lord of the Rings: Return of the King just last night, and on that slo-mo shot of Miranda Otto's Eowyn cheering right before the Rohirrim charge, it hit me. All these people have such impeccable teeth!

Ok, hold up a sec! How is this possible? These people are living in medieval times. Last I checked, toothbrushes weren't exactly a popular commodity back in those days and dental hygiene wasn't explicitly a problem people felt they needed to concern themselves with. But, in these films, there they are, those pearly whites. 

Granted, only the leads have good teeth. Nothing gives away a villain like a disgusting set of chompers, but still. What's the deal? Let's look at some examples, shall we?

Uh-huh...

Well, this one's a bit dark, but believe me. They're immaculate!

Do you see? Look at those things!

Powerful stuff.

The Lesson: If you are a good guy in a film set in a time of castles, swords, shields, and bloody bloody warfare, chin up. At least your teeth will be pretty.

2 comments:

  1. Whatr? They didn't have Midevil Teeth Whiteners?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unless you include scratching out food morsels with a stick, i don't think so.

    ReplyDelete