Black As Raven, Dumb As Bricks

I don't know what the whole Snow White craze in Hollywood is all about. Between this and Mirror Mirror, we're getting more than our fair share of the "fairest of them all". Maybe the gods of showbiz are aware of some growing trend, but whatever. I have no stomach for speculation. All I know is that if this trend continues, we are in for some dire circumstances. Though it has good ideas, boasts spiffy visuals, and has one hell of a villain, Snow White and the Huntsman is a pretty terrible movie, with an awful screenplay, undeveloped heroes and predictable plotting. It's all dirt and grime and loud noises, and while I think it's a great move taking something as kiddy as Snow White and making it hyper dark, this is not the way to do it.

I'm the God of Thunder. You love vampires. This will never work!

Beautifully Assembled

As you are no doubt aware, I make my judgement of how any particular summer at the movies will be, quality wise, based on how well the first BIG movie is. Last year, the Marvel train was in full force, kicking things off with Thor, which I loved. And luckily, my prediction was right on the money. Summer 2011 was a great season, but if my prediction now is accurate, then it will in no way touch this summer. Let me just get it out of the way right now. I am expecting great things from Prometheus, cannot wait for Brave, am stoked for Ted and for GI Joe, and, of course, am anticipating the hell out of The Dark Knight Rises. But if any of those films can beat The Avengers for my number 1, then I will be floored. What Marvel studios, along with writer/director Joss Whedon have done is truly marvelous, a triumph of character mixed with spectacle mixed with humor mixed with emotion mixed with action. After five films and tons and tons of teases and build up, the wait is over. The Avengers have assembled, and they defy every expectation there was or could have been.

Horror By Design

Before you proceed, a word of warning. You've probably seen said warnings on other reviews, but I cannot overstate this enough. If you have not seen The Cabin in the Woods yet, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, click that "Take a Leap" button. There will be spoilers aplenty, and believe me when I say, you do not want to be privy to any spoilers when you go into this movie. All you need to know is this. The Cabin in the Woods is sort of being advertised as your standard slasher flick where a bunch of teens do stupid things and get butchered, but hear me when I say that it is not! Cabin in the Woods is a smart, funny, scary, devilishly clever take on the horror genre that breathes new life into what was fast becoming one of the most predictable style of movies around. Boasting genuine scares and thrills, an instantly quotable script, and a premise too ingenious for words, Cabin in the Woods is one you cannot afford to miss. And that's it. If you haven't seen it, stop right here. Leave! Vanish!

Are they gone? Good. Now, all you who have seen it, click that button and let's get into it.

This is the work of Loki!

In Need of a Horse

Time to break out my prediction hat, because Summer 2011 has begun. Though I am late to the party on this one, I see no reason why I shouldn't be able to judge. Anyway, as you no doubt are aware, I make a habit of predicting how the summer will turn out, movie-wise, based on how the first big show stopper does. Now last year, I royally screwed the pooch by predicting that, with Iron Man 2 starting things off strong, the season would be good. As we all know, Summer 2010, Inception notwithstanding, sucked a big fat one. Well, I hope I'm not wrong again, because if the kick off is anything to go on, Summer 2011 should be great! The kick off is Thor, the latest entry in Marvel's elaborate and ambitious cinematic universe. It's campy, over the top, and ridiculous. It's also spectacular!

Squeeze your belly!