Oscar Minutes...

...are here. The show was good tonight! It was pretty much what we expected in terms of winners. Sandra Bullock undeservedly won over Carey Mulligan, and Kathryn Bigelow righteously owned her ex. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were fantastic as the hosts, and I'm interested to see how they will top these two next year. The changes this year were actually well implemented. I'm still furious that they got rid of the performances of Best Original Song, but the 45 second wasn't as bad as I thought, seeing as they didn't cut off the people everyone cares about. And Taylor Lautner and Kristin Stewart didn't really present an award, so, everything's fine. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised Avatar didn't win Best Picture. It was never going to win Best Director, and wasn't nominated for any other major awards. I thought for sure that the Academy would honor the highest grossing, best looking film of all time by giving it the top award. But, I'm not complaining. The Hurt Locker deserved all of it. How Inglourious Basterds or Up in the Air didn't win for their respective writing awards baffles me. I mean, Hurt Locker and Precious certainly deserved it, but they were already locked into other major awards. I thought for sure that the Academy would recognize Tarantino and Reitman in some way. Oh well! Also, Sandy Powell deserves to be slapped for her ungracious speech after winning Best Costume Design! Regardless, it was a good show. Some minor gripes with who the Academy chose, but, all in all, there's really nothing to complain about. See you next time.

Fie, For Shame Oscar: The Ones You Don't Appreciate

The Oscars are on Sunday! It's very exciting! The final votes were due today, I believe, which means that winner's have been chosen, and there's no changing them, whatever they may be. I've already given you my opinions on the nominees, so, what about the others? What about those other films that clearly deserved recognition, but received none? Pay attention Oscar! It's time to answer for your crimes!

First on my list of unappreciated films this season is, of course, (500) Days of Summer. I know, it's a romantic comedy. It didn't have amazing box office numbers. It's stars aren't the most bankable in the biz. But I don't care! (500) Days of Summer was my absolute favorite movie last year. Despite all the previously mentioned things working against it, there is one thing that everyone can agree on. (500) Days of Summer is good! Really good! I believe that should have gotten nods for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Original Screenplay. I don't think Mark Webb was ever in the running for Best Director, so I'm not at all steamed about that. I am steamed at the other ones though! I know it was a long shot to hope that it would get noticed in the Best Picture race, but, come on. Can't a guy dream? Same goes for both acting categories, even though the performances by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel are far superior then most of the nominated ones. If there was any category that (500) Days had a legitimate shot at getting noticed in, it was Best Original Screenplay! I thought for sure it would get nominated here, but, like I said before, the Academy has a habit of disassociating themselves with the movie I deem to be the best of the year. I'm sorry if I'm not as mainstream as the average Academy voter!

The other, big, glaring omission is even more surprising to me then (500) Days of Summer. Where the Wild Things Are is based off a beloved and classic piece of literature, is directed by Spike Jonze, tells an amazing story with great acting to boot. It's a bonafide art house picture! It's simply spectacular, but, it goes unnoticed. Why? It didn't make money! It was a critical darling and one of the best reviewed films of last year, but, since the Academy is more concerned about their telecast then honoring achievements in cinema this year, it is snubbed. Not only should Where the Wild Things Are have gotten nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay, but it would have been a strong contender for some technical awards. Just witness the seamless blending of puppets and CGI, and you'll see what I'm talking about. This is the type of movie the Academy always goes for, small, intimate, thought provoking, and all around excellent. Instead the went with The Blind Side. Ughhh...

There are a few other gripes I have, but won't go into too much detail about. I think Neill Blomkamp should have warranted considerable consideration for Best Director for District 9, but, it's a freshmen effort, not counting Alive in Joburg, so that was mostly vain hope. I think The Blind Side got two nominations too many! Public Enemies got no play as well, even though both Johnny Depp and Marion Cotillard deserved to get noticed. Cottilard especially this year, since she, along with her wonderful work in Enemies, was the only actor to maintain any dignity in Nine.

I don't know. Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of this. I know that not winning an Oscar isn't going to make these films any less good! It's just a shame that they won't be featured during the telecast, and, as such, probably won't reach the wider audience that should experience them. It's a shame, but, hey. Maybe the retrospective video they play will highlight at least some of these.

On another, less fiery note, my write up of the Oscar minutes will be featured on The LAMB following the telecast, so... that's cool!

Oscar! What Have Ye Become?

A week and three days. That's all the time we have to wait to see who will win, Avatar or The Hurt Locker, Bullock or Streep, Bigelow or Cameron, etc. Now, unless you've been living in a cave somewhere for the last year, you are no doubt aware of a couple of changes being made in the telecast this year, all in the name of wrangling in viewers! A few of them are well implemented, and the others... well, let's just say that if you thought Zac Efron shouldn't have even shown his face at the Oscars last year, then you're in for quite a treat!

First up, we have ten Best Picture nominees, instead of the usual five. This was meant to remedy the public backlash that sprung up when The Dark Knight was snubbed last year. Verdict? Completely unnecessary, but still welcome. The Dark Knight of 2009, that is to say, the biggest money grubber out there, Avatar, was always going to get nominated! Even so, with that out of the way, they had room to recognize some other films that would have been forgotten had we only five. Quality, genre films like District 9, and Up, and small, oft-ignored gems like A Serious Man or An Education all made the list, and deservedly so. They're great. If the ten Best Picture thing showed a flaw in the Academy, it showed how much emphasis they are putting on pleasing the public, as they snubbed such great, but commercially ignored, works as (500) Days of Summer and Where the Wild Things Are in favor of The Blind Side. What we have here is desperation, in it's most organic form!

Second up, we have two hosts this year. I don't have anything to complain about here. It will take nothing short of a full Na'vi army to prevent Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin from cracking us up on March 7th. I am very much looking forward to seeing what antics Baldwin has in store, and I am especially looking forward to Martin redeeming himself in my eyes.

Ok, now on the problematic issues. As news starts to trickle in about who is hosting, one thing is clear. The talent of the hosts will be quite questionable this year. Instead of getting great artists like Steven Speilberg, Christopher Walken, Daniel Day-Lewis, or Clint Eastwood, we get... Zac Efron, Kristin Stewart, and Taylor Lautner? What? I understand wanting to reel in as many viewers as possible, Academy, but come on. All three of these were in terrible movies this year, and they all sucked in them. Well, Efron did redeem himself, somewhat, in Me and Orson Welles, and Stewart was on fire at Sundance, but seriously! These people have not proven themselves to be of Oscar flavor, and have no business presenting. Give them another year, and see if they deserve it then. Stewart's almost there, but Efron and Lautner have a ways to go. Hopefully, they don't surprise us with Robert Pattinson again, because if they do, I just might throw my computer at the TV.

The next change I want to address, yet again, further highlights how friggin' low the Academy will stoop to get viewers. They are changing the framework of the acceptance speeches so that winners will only get 45 seconds to say what they have to before the music starts playing on the telecast, and then, they have a place backstage for longer expressions of gratitude that will be viewable online. Come on. Really? Half the fun of Oscar night is watching the winners make complete assholes of themselves on stage! I'll be the first to admit that some of them can go on for forever and a Wednesday, but these people just won an Oscar. They deserve the spotlight! Let em' have it!

And finally, the biggest change, that has me in a righteous fury, is that the Academy has decided to do away with the performances of Best Original Song. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Yeah, I know, the mash-up they did last year of the three nominees failed miserably, but at least it was interesting. The performances always do a lot in mixing up the telecast, ensuring that it doesn't stay boring for too long. Doing away with them all together is just wrong! The nominated writers deserve to have their work heard on Oscar night; a 10 second blurb does not cut it. And before you get all up in my face, no! I am not railing against this change because of my, likely, vain hope that Marion Cotillard would reprise her striptease dance for "Take It All" from Nine. If anything, I am pissed that we won't get to see Jeff Bridges croon out his song from Crazy Heart. The Academy is so desperate for viewers that they are willing to reduce the work of the five nominated writers from a full fanfare to a miniscule, iTunes demo. It's just wrong!

Regardless of my opinion on these matters, one thing's for certain! Oscar will be very different this year. Who knows? Maybe all these changes will turn out for the better, and the show will be the best its ever been. Maybe they will all crash and burn, and the Academy will go back to its public snubbing ways. We have to wait and see! Alright. That's all for now. See you next time!

The Nominations for 2009

They're finally here!

Best Picture
Avatar
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air

Well, there they are! I'm generally pretty happy with these, although I did not see The Blind Side getting nominated at all. I can't really blame them for doing so; they had to fill out all ten spaces, and Blind Side made a shit ton of money, so, why not throw it in there. I think it's great that they are recognizing movies like District 9 or Up, movies that would definitely get snubbed if it were still five nominees this year. It doesn't matter though. It is between Avatar and The Hurt Locker. This critic is betting on Avatar.

Best Director

James Cameron (Avatar)

Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker)

Quentin Tarantino (Inglourious Basterds)

Lee Daniels (Precious)

Jason Reitman (Up in the Air)

With the exception of Lee Daniels, I was right on the money with this one. If you just take the time to notice, you'll see that the Academy is more predictable then... something that's predictable. (Sorry. A little out of it right now.) This one has been won already as well. Kathryn Bigelow is going to win here. Even though she got snubbed at the Globes, she took home the trophy at PGAs and DGAs, virtually clearing the field for her to waltz on up to that stage. James Cameron may pull a fast one out of left field, but, if all goes according to plan, Kathryn's gonna be flipping her ex the bird on this one.

Best Actor

Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)

George Clooney (Up in the Air)

Colin Firth (A Single Man)

Morgan Freeman (Invictus)

Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker)

Again, this one has been won already. Clooney, Firth, and Freeman put up a good show, and I'm thrilled that Jeremy Renner is finally getting recognized, but Bridges has this one in the bag. He has won, literally, every single award leading up to the Oscars, or at least all the ones that matter. That, and that it's the first time he's getting recognized, even though he has consistently turned in great performances. The Dude, anyone? His under appreciated streak is officially over.

Best Actress

Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side) ugggg...

Helen Mirren (The Last Station)

Carey Mulligan (An Education)

Gabourey Sidibe (Precious)

Meryl Streep (Julie & Julia)

Carey Mulligan should win this award, hands down. But she won't. Why? Because the world is stupid! Sandra Bullock will win for a performance, that, while better then the shit she usually turns out, doesn't even deserve to be considered for a nomination. Yes, Meryl and Gabourey are quite good in their roles, and Helen Mirren should be recognized for her glorious overacting, but Mulligan was so good, she was almost a shoe in for this award, until her PR man righteously fucked her awards campaign. Time to hire a new guy, Carey. Just putting it out there.

Best Supporting Actor

Matt Damon (Invictus)

Woody Harrelson (The Messenger)

Christopher Plummer (The Last Station)

Stanley Tucci (The Lovely Bones)

Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds)

Mad props to Tucci for picking up Bones' sole nomination, and even more so to Harrelson for capping off his revival year with a nom. Matt Damon was good in Invictus, and Plummer was alright in Station. But, it doesn't matter. Waltz has far too much momentum to be slowed at this point. He is the clear winner.

Best Supporting Actress

Penelope Cruz (Nine) Huh?

Vera Farmiga (Up in the Air)

Maggie Gyllenhaal (Crazy Heart)

Anna Kendrick (Up in the Air)

Mo'Nique (Precious)

In keeping with this years tradition of playing it safe, Mo'Nique will walk away with the statue on Oscar night. She shouldn't, but there it is. Farmiga or Kendrick should win, as they gave the best performances here, by far. Gyllenhaal was just thrown in there, but I have no problem with her nomination. I do, however have a problem with Cruz. What the hell is she doing here? If anyone should be nominated from Nine, it should be Marion Cotillard, who was actually better in Public Enemies, but we'll let that pass. Again, blame the PR guys, who pushed for Cotillard as a Best Actress contender. They had to know what they were doing. Damn, I hate the press.

Adapted Screenplay

District 9

An Education

In The Loop

Precious

Up in the Air

It's going to Up in the Air. No, there's no debate. It's going to happen.

Original Screenplay

The Hurt Locker

Inglourious Basterds

The Messenger

A Serious Man

Up

I am seriously ticked off at the lack of (500) Days of Summer love, but I accepted a long time ago that the Academy would always disassociate themselves with my favorite movie of the year. It happened last year with The Dark Knight, and it happened this year. If Summer was a shoe in for anything, it was screenplay, but, what's done is done. Basterds will walk away with this one, because, quite frankly, Oscar voters have a big hard on for Tarantino, and justifiably so. I'd like to see Up win, but Basterds is the clear favorite.

So, there it is. I don't think there has ever been a year that was so easy to predict. I guess it's nice in that sense, but it takes some of the fun of watching the show away from us. Oh well. On the topic of other, not as major, awards, Up will, without a doubt, win Best Animated Feature and Best Score, Avatar will sweep the technical awards, and The White Ribbon will win Best Foreign Feature Film. Ok, that's done. Expect some more coverage as we inch closer to March 7th. See you next time.

The FITS Awards: 2009

UGGGGG...

Well, summer's over. Boo-hoo, right? Get over it. We all had to go back to school sometime. Anyway, summer 2009 was no slouch when it came to entertaining us at the movies. So, without further ado, Detailed Criticisms presents The FITS Awards for 2009. Let's start with the Best... Awards.

Best...

Surprise: Terminator: Salvation. Let me be clear. Terminator: Salvation is far from the masterpiece that we know the series is capable of delivering. But, it is not nearly as bad as some other big budget action movies that came out this summer. In fact, in terms of sequels, this one is quite possibly the best, only being beat by Harry Potter. Sam Worthington does a surprisingly good job handling piss poor dialogue while simultaneously kicking tons of ass and getting me psyched to see him in Avatar in December. And Christian Bale does an adequate job as the human messiah, even if it is the exact same thing we saw from his last few movies.

Runner Up(s): Adam Sandler's Performance in Funny People

Sequel: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Before you start shouting at me, I'll make my rationale clear. Yes, Star Trek is technically the 11th film in the franchise, but, I am not going to associate that masterpiece with the general pile of crap that the space opera franchise usually serves us. So, no, it is not a sequel. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, on the other hand, is a sequel, and it is a good one. I thought the Harry Potter franchise has almost lost its way around movie 4, but this one brings the series back up on the glorious high plateau it was standing on during movie 3. Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint have all done away with the childish acting tendencies that they inhabited in previous installments, and are now completely serious actors. Number 7 (parts 1 and 2) can't come soon enough!

Runner Up(s): Terminator: Salvation

Possible New Franchise: District 9. As I made apparent in my public tongue bathing of this sci-fi masterpiece, the world that director Niell Blomkamp has created, and its execution, is downright brilliant! I don't particularly want to see a new installment (District 10?), but I won't mind in the slightest if Blomkamp wants to revisit the story of the Prawns and Wikus van de Merwe.

Runner Up(s): The Hangover

Hero: Wikus van de Merwe (Sharlto Copley) in District 9. In District 9, Blomkamp gives us a hero who is complex and deep. You will love him one minute and hate him the next, while simultaneously believing absolutely everything that he is doing. When you sit down, you are holding on for the ride with Wikus as he goes through the most hellish few days of his life. He may be an asshole some of the time, but you are rooting for him the whole time, despite your initial misgivings. No other hero on screen this year can attest to that. Well done Copley. Not bad for your first acting gig.

Runner Up(s): James Tiberius Kirk (Chris Pine) in Star Trek

Villain: Col. Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) in Inglourious Basterds. I don't think a Nazi has ever been so likable on screen before. Waltz's Col. is going down as the best villain Quentin Tarantino has ever written, beating out Stuntman Mike and Bill. Every single line of his (That's a bingo!) is solid gold. Expect an Oscar nomination. It's practically guaranteed. Oh, also, if you ever sit down to have a strudel with him, listen to him, and wait for your damn cream!

Runner Up(s): Nero (Eric Bana) in Star Trek, Those Damn Machines in Terminator: Salvation

Performance: TIE: Joseph Gordon Levitt and Zooey Deschanel in (500) Days of Summer. I've made it no secret that I am absolutely in love with Joseph Gordon Levitt. He can take any role and turn into something you want to watch (Cobra Commander anyone?). Fortunately, he had a good character and script to work with in this absolutely wonderful movie. It doesn't hurt that he is complemented by the singular best performance to ever come out of Zooey Deschanel. These are two for the books, and two of the decade's best. No, you are not reading the wrong. I said decade!

Runner Up(s): Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds, Zachary Quinto in Star Trek

Action: Star Trek. Ah, what a refreshing change of pace, an action movie that doesn't skimp on the characters and good dialogue while simultaneously exciting the hell out of us. JJ Abrams should at least get a pat on the back for taking this ridiculously boring and decrepit franchise and breathing new, invigorating life into it. There's already talk about if it'll get nominated for some serious Oscars, besides its guaranteed nominations for effects and editing and things of that nature. Hey, I'll petition for an Oscar nom for Zachary Quinto or Abrams. God knows, they deserve it.

Runner Up(s): District 9

Comedy (Romantic or otherwise): (500) Days of Summer: Words can not adequately express how much I love this movie. I honestly can't remember feeling this much adoration for a movie since the first time I saw The Godfather in 7th grade. Not only is the movie heartfelt and emotional, but it's also funny as hell. Just take the opening slides. "Author's Note: The following is work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you Jenny Beckman. Bitch!" God, that's great!

Runner Up(s): The Hangover

Overall: (500) Days of Summer: Put it to you this way. I left (500) Days of Summer, and all I could think about was going to see (500) Days of Summer again. Seriously. You may think I'm crazy (I am), or that I just have a man crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt (I do), but the movie is just that good!

Runner Up(s): District 9

And now, onto the other side of the spectrum. The Worst... awards. These are always fun.

Worst...

Surprise: Transformers 2 Sucks. I'll admit it again. I'm a fan of the first Transformers movie. I thought it was a well made, funny, supremely exciting piece of summer action. Being that this is a Michael Bay movie, this is grand praise coming from me, indeed. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that Bay went back to his usual tricks for his sequel. Pretty much everything that was good about Transformers 1 is nowhere to be seen in Transformers 2. And, he still has to answer for those robot twins. What was he thinking?

Runner Up(s): Just How Bad G.I. Joe Really Is

Sequel: X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The X-Men franchise was never very good, but it can't be denied that X2 was a fairly decent addition to the comic book-to-movie ranks. Ever since then, the franchise has been sliding down a slippery slope, but it has hit an all time low with Wolverine. I don't understand why they needed to make this movie. Pretty much all the last three dealt with was Wolverine's origin. Anyway, the acting is terrible; the special effects are awful; and the action is boring. Do not see!

Runner Up(s): Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Possible New Franchise: G.I. Joe. Words cannot express how much I loathe this movie. If you read my review, you would have noticed I said how the movie was a lot of fun. But, if you read my follow up article, you would've noticed I said that this fun does not hold up on the second viewing. In that viewing, you will see the film for what it really is, a piece of shit with awful acting (except for Joseph Gordon-Levitt), atrocious direction and the worst special effects seen in a big budget Hollywood actioner ever since Venom in Spider-Man 3. But, since it made tons of money, we're gonna get another one, and I'll have to see it for you people. FML

Runner Up(s): X-Men Origins: (insert mutant name here)

Hero: Duke in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Usually, the hero of an action movie is supposed to have charisma, charm, and be able to kick ass. Channing Tatum's Duke can only kick ass. This is only exemplified by his partner, played by Marlon Wayans, who has all three of these things. Tatum plays Duke like the thickest jarhead on the face of the planet. Needless to say, I was rooting for Cobra in the end.

Runner Up(s): Sam in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Villain: The Fallen in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Not only does this new evil Transformer look like the most impractically built robot ever, but his evil plan is even less clear then that of his lieutenant, Megatron. So, he wants to blow up the sun to do, what exactly? This is going to destroy the earth? Great. Why should I care? Good villains are supposed to evil, but have something to them that sort of masks that villainy, like charm or motivation. Subtlety goes a long way. The Fallen throws subtlety out the window in favor of a more direct approach, i.e. gravelly voice, evil looking appearance, and an ominous throne. Kill me now!

Runner Up(s): Col. William Stryker (Danny Huston) in X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Performance: Meghan Fox in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I believe that Meghan can be good, but as long as she keeps taking roles like this, we will never see that talent. She knows this too, which is why she totally phones in her second outing as the hottest teenager ever! It's very sad.

Runner Up(s): Christopher Eccleston in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Lynn Collins in X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Action: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. As I'm sure you've guessed by now, G.I. Joe is a terrible movie. Every action scene looks like it was put together in a college computer lab; every actor on screen is clearly looking forward to the day when they can move on the better things, and so are you watching them. Do not subject yourself to this movie, ever!

Runner Up(s): X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Comedy: Nothing. Same deal as last year. I only saw good comedies, and I don't feel like insulting them with undeserved criticism. So... yeah.

Runner Up(s): Seriously?

Overall: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. See above.

Runner Up(s): X-Men Origins: Wolverine

There you have it! 2009's FITS Awards have been handed out. It was a good season, even if we didn't have the massive influx of quality that we got last year. Oh well. Anyway, with that out of the way, Oscar season can begin. Stay tuned for more coverage.

Oh, in case you were wondering, FITS stands for Fun in the Sun!

Fifty Percent

Now that 2009 has passed the half way point, let's look back on what came out in terms of  best and worst.

Best...

...Looking: Star Trek. It must be seen to be believed. The special effects on tap here easily beat out the explosion fueled romp that was Transformers, thought that one still looked good. The cinematography is superb as well. The brilliant looking trailer only hints at the beauty in store for you. 

Runner(s) Up: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Public Enemies

...Guilty Pleasure: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Transformers 2 is a terrible movie. You know that going in; you know that going out. You know that at home; you know that everywhere else. The thing is, you don't know that when you are actually watching, because it is so God damn ridiculous and fun, that you just don't care. I don't advise seeing it twice. After the first time, you do start to care. 

Runner(s) Up: Friday the 13th

...Job Staying Faithful to Source Material: Watchmen. Yeah, the movie is about as faithful as it gets, for better or worse. Pretty much every scenario from the incredible graphic novel is included, and handled really well, mind you, but a lot of it is kinda boring, given how talky this thing actually. Even so, it's probably the best adaptation we would have gotten, regardless of that awful sex scene. 

Runner(s) Up: State of Play, Terminator: Salvation

...Animated: Up. No competition. No need to write anything. It's Pixar, for God's sake!

Runner(s) Up: NONE!! (To be honest, I haven't seen another animated movie so far this year)

...Comedy: The Hangover. Just thinking about this hysterical film brings a laugh to my throat. This movie is so funny. All the performers display brilliant comic timing. The writing is sharp and witty. The scenarios are ridiculous and hilarious. It's the perfect comedy. 

Runner(s) Up: I Love You Man

...Action: Taken. Yes, Star Trek was the better movie, but Taken had better fights, better shootouts, and better car chases. A strong performance from Liam Neeson doesn't hurt either. Sure the movie sucked otherwise, but in terms of sheer violence and thrills, it's difficult to beat. 

Runner(s) Up: Star Trek, Terminator: Salvation, Watchmen

...Drama: State of Play. It's nice to see a decent political thriller these days. What better way to vent our frustration at the government by going to movies where said government is the antagonist. Good performances from Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Helen Mirren, and Rachel McAdams elevate the somewhat shoddy material above the rest of the pack. A good pick. 

Runner(s) Up: Up

...Performance: Johnny Depp in Public Enemies: Put simply, Mr. Depp is John Dillinger. When he steps on screen, you forget that he is an actor. You are seeing Public Enemy Number 1 up there. It's mesmerizing.

Runner(s) Up: Zachary Quinto in Star Trek, Jackie Earl Haley in Watchmen

...Overall: Star Trek. I never thought I'd say that a movie in the Star Trek franchise would be the best piece of cinema I had seen so far this year, but, I've always been able to surprise even myself. JJ Abrams and crew have done a fantastic job making Star Trek accessible to millions of people. Rock solid performances from Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, Simon Pegg, Zoe Saldana, and others do so much to elevate this movie from good to great!

Runner(s) Up: Public Enemies, Up

And, now, onto the opposite of these movies. Enjoy the public executions. They're all for you!

Worst...

...Looking: X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Good luck not seeing the scene where Gambit jumps through the air and prevents a massive rock from falling on Wolverine and thinking that it didn't look fake. The special effects, given the budget, were, in a word, awful!

Runner(s) Up: Knowing

...Guilty Pleasure: Knowing. It should have been a guilty pleasure, a smart apocalypse movie. But a stupid plot, awful performances, and a grim and depressing ending make this movie one sad thing to sit through. Nicolas Cage should really have his head examined. If you want to feel really sad and suicidal, see this movie. If you want thrills and some cool, apocalyptic destruction, look elsewhere. 

Runner(s) Up: I don't know. The phrase guilty pleasure implies just that, pleasure. So, I guess, Wolverine.

...Animated: Nothing. Gotta be honest, haven't seen any other animated movies so far. I would put Up here, seeing as it's the only animated movie I saw, so it is technically the worst, seeing as I have nothing to base it on. But, that would insulting the genius that is that movie. So, nothing here. Yay!

Runner(s) Up: NOTHING!

...Comedy: Bride Wars. Anne Hathaway, what is wrong with you? You deliver such a genius performance in Rachel Getting Married, and you follow it up with, Bride Wars? What? Are you serious? How stupid do you have to be to star in this unfunny, boring, stupid, alleged comedy. You're lucky you're so damn pretty!

Runner(s) Up: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Land of the Lost

...Action: X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Like I said my review, the action scenes are really boring in this movie. I blame the director, who has no experience with action. Why do studios insist on legitimizing their action movies by bringing in award winning directors who have no idea how to excite the audience with action. Why couldn't they have gotten someone like Christopher Nolan, Ang Lee, or Peter Jackson? We'll never know now.

Runner(s) Up: Push

...Drama: Knowing. Like I said, a stupid plot and awful performances do nothing for this movie. All the actors overplay it to an uncomfortable point; the color palette is trying to get somber tones, but only succeed in making you roll your eyes. Director Alex Proyas even pulls a Michael Bay and pans to a mournfully waving American Flag after a particularly grim scene. Cheap shot!

Runner(s) Up: Killshot

...Performance: Megan Fox in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I know. I know. She's hot. Shut up! Doesn't change the fact that kinda sucked in this movie. It's obvious that she is bored with role, so we are bored watching her. Then again, she doesn't serve any purpose other then to be a target that all the boys with holes in their pockets can ogle at while they feverishly and sweatily tug at, OH MY, I should stop!

Runner(s) Up: Nicolas Cage in Knowing, Lynn Collins in X-Men Origins: Wolverine

...Overall: Knowing. See above. 

Runner(s) Up: X-Men Origins Wolverine

To Come Throughout the Rest of 2009 (Hopefully): (500) Days of Summer, The Hurt Locker, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, Bruno, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Inglourious Basterds, It Might Get Loud, District 9, 9, Nine, Shutter Island, Funny People, Taking Woodstock, The Informant, Surrogates, A Serious Man, Zombieland, Couples Retreat, An Education, The Road, 2012, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, Armored, Brothers, Avatar, Sherlock Holmes, Invictus, The Lovely Bones. 

LET IT BEGIN!!

Well, it has started. May 1st is upon us, my friends, and that means one thing. The Summer Movie Season has officially begun! The last few summers have been surprisingly good, with smart, well executed action flicks, gut busting comedies, and some rather thoughtful dramas. The first movie of the season usually sets the stage for what's to follow. Last year, we had Iron Man to kick things off, and we all remember how great last summer was in terms of movies. Indeed, four of my top ten for 2008 came out in that season. This year, we have X-Men Origins: Wolverine to lead the charge. Looks like this summer is gonna suck. 

Origins tells the 'gasp' origin story of everyone's favorite comic book social reject, James Logan, aka, Wolverine, aka, the man with the big friggin' metal knives coming out of his knuckles. Apparently, Logan has been around for a while, and never aged a day. He's fought in the Civil War, WWI and II, and Vietnam. The dude's tenacious, to say the least. With him at all times, is his brother, Victor Creed, aka, (for you non X-Men nerds out there) Sabretooth. When these two bros are recruited by the slimy Colonel William Stryker to be part of a "special" team with "special" privileges, things start to blow up in their faces. Soon, Logan and Creed are going at each other's throats, while Stryker's allegiances are never quite clear until the end. The film expands on some stuff only hinted at in the first three X-Men movies, as well as introducing a slew of new mutants who are just there to blow crap up or set up new "origin" movies. The plot is standard revenge stuff, with a few predictable twists thrown in. Boring stuff, really.

Hugh Jackman extends the claws again in the role that made him famous. He's really the best thing in this movie. He has honed the grunt and roar of Wolverine to the point of perfection. All his uttered lines, while poorly written, are solid gold in his extremely masculine hands. Granted, it's the same schtick that he did in the last three movies. However, he was really good in those, so it's forgivable. Liev Schreiber plays Creed. I don't really know what to say about him. Schreiber is suited to the psychopath role; he played more or less the same role in Defiance, albeit, he was a good guy in that. Sure, he fits the bill, but he overplays it to an alarming level. If he had a mustache, he would twirl it. Danny Huston plays Stryker. This performance is not up to Huston's usual standards, but, it's passable. It will make you wish for Brian Cox, though. The other characters, while playing massive parts in the advertising campaign for this film, are barely in this, with the exception of Taylor Kitsch's Remy LeBeau/Gambit. With the amount of press he's getting, you'd think Ryan Reynolds' Wade Wilson/Deadpool would get a good chunk of screen time. WRONG! He comes in, cracks a few jokes, engineers one sinfully short action scene, and then leaves until the very end, and even then, he's and unrecognizable mute. Other performers include Will.i.am in his big screen debut as John Wraith, Kevin Durand as the horrendously fat Fred J. Dukes/Blob (more on that later) and Lynn Collins as Kayla Silverfox. Sure, they're all put up an admirable effort, but you will long for the likes of Ian McKellan, Anna Paquin, Halle Berry, and Ellen Page. 

The studio really messed up with the casting of director on this one. Gavin Hood is a fine director; Tsotsi is one of my favorite movies of the last 10 years. But, he has no flair for action, and has no idea what to do with the comic book source material that he is dealing with. He is making a movie for the fans, make no mistake. But, while Zach Snyder made a comic book movie for the fans by staying ridiculously faithful to the source material, Hood goes about it by jam packing the screen with character after character, but not giving them enough time to make an impression. He also floods the screen with action scene after action scene, but they are all stilted, explosion filled, borefests. Well, that's not true. The last one, a three way duel between Wolverine, Creed, and Deadpool, is nicely executed. The same cannot be said for the rest of them. It's getting annoying that studios want to 'legitimize' their action movies by hiring award winning directors to work them. These directors have no idea how to shoot an action scene, so they compensate with overuse of the special effects. I can only imagine what could have been accomplished if Christopher Nolan or Ang Lee was directing. 

However, the biggest problem I have with this movie is that it sometimes stoops so low to get a laugh or thrill out of the audience. For example, Kevin Durand's character goes through a remorseful period over the things he did in the past, and started eating to make himself forget. As Will.i.am says, "We all got our coping mechanisms." Later in the movie, we see that he has gotten disgustingly fat. Hood plays this off as a light, comedic thing, as does Jackman, who cracks a few jokes. NO! That's not funny. That's not funny in the slightest. That type of humor really bothers me. The director is practically asking us to laugh at someone's hardships. It's despicable.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine starts off summer on a lackluster note. Sure, it offers some thrills and great eye candy, but, these days, that's no longer enough. I'm not going to start judging this season until I see Star Trek next week, but, if it's anything like Wolverine, this summer will incredibly lackluster compared to the last few. Oh well. 

D

Journalism. It's What I Do.

My lord!! It's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry about that. So... umm... right, State of Play.

Politicly charged movies are getting a good rap lately. From the Oscar nominated Frost/Nixon, to the Oscar winning Milk... yeah, they've been doing pretty well for themselves lately. So, now we have State of Play, a sharp as nails thriller that leaves me thinking two things. 1.) That, if this movie is anything to go on, journalists keep ridiculous hours. 2.) I'm really impressed with State of Play.

State of Play begins with a double homicide at the hands of a shady fellow in black. The next day, another person has been killed, this one being an aide to prominent congressman Stephen Collins. An old friend of Collins', Cal McAffrey, an investigative reporter at The Washington Globe quickly pounces on the story, and, with the help of an ambitious new member to the staff, starts to dig up some juicy dirt. As he digs deeper however, he realizes that the actual truth is far more disturbing then he had originally thought. 

The cast, which boasts a slew of top tier names, is mighty impressive. Russell Crowe plays Cal. Picture this. If Crowe's Ritchie Roberts from American Gangster were an investigative reporter, he would be Cal. Crowe plays him as the most honest journalist in the world, but who is not beyond actual human emotion. Throughout the movie, he is forced to keep his friendship with Collins in check so as not to jeopardize the story. It's really good work from Crowe. Ben Affleck plays Collins. Let's be honest, Affleck is one of the most suspect actors working today. I mean, come on, he's about as consistent in his work as I am with these reviews. He can do great work in movies like Good Will Hunting, Dogma, and Hollywoodland, and follow it up with God awful performances in Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, Gigli, and Daredevil. But, he turns in one of his better performances here. He is actually quite good as this conflicted, confused congressman who gets caught in the middle of conspiracy after conspiracy. Don't expect a decent performance from him in the future. Like I said, inconsistent. Rachel McAdams plays Cal's fiery new partner. It's nice to see McAdams back in the mainstream after what seems like a five year hiatus. Don't worry, she's just as good as we remember. Helen Mirren does her usual excellent work as Cal's hotheaded editor who is more motivated by paper sales then actual facts. To cap it off, we have Jason Bateman in an Oscar worthy performance as a sketchy PR man with a taste for clubs, fancy Cadillacs, and a shit ton of hair gel. He steals every scene he's in and nails every line he has. If there was an award for Outstanding Casting in a movie, this one would be a shoe in. 

Director Kevin Macdonald knows how to handle politics. He showed us that with the brilliant The Last King of Scotland, and impresses us again. Everything in State of Play has been done before, and done better. But, it's tried and true formula, and Macdonald does a great job of utilizing it. The movie moves at a breakneck pace, never stopping to take a breather. Macdonald is careful in his storytelling in that he crams the scene with enough to make the viewers have to think to figure out what's going on, but he doesn't make them feel like complete idiots either. That was one of the big problems in Duplicity. It was smart; too smart. No one knew what the hell was going on in that movie. State of Play has no such problem. It can be confusing if you're not paying attention, but, if you do, you'll have no problem following along. Macdonald is just giving us a little taste of what he is capable of. Expect wonderful things from him in the future. 

So, it may be obvious, but I really like State of Play. Sure, pretty much everything in it has been done before, but it does it so well, I can't complain. I'm just ashamed, because I'm betting that it's not going to get the audience it deserves. The general public of this fine country seems to hate a movie that makes you think. Maybe that's why Watchmen essentially flopped. Don't be like them! B