Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

At this particular theatre, I was by myself. Flying solo. You know how it is. To that end, there were a few seats between me and the person next to me. About half way through the movie, right about where all the looting and chaos is going down, the person next to me coughed. I almost ran for my life! Why? Cuz Contagion got to me in a way a virus thriller never has. This is a smart, terrifying, absolutely believable piece of pandemic pandemonium. With strong performances, slick direction, and a chilling atmosphere, Contagion will convince you to never touch anything... or anyone... ever... again!

I've driven down that street before. 

Glee Review: The Substitute

I say. Those casting people sure do know how to attract the talent.

There's a disease spreading through the halls of McKinley. Strangely enough, this new strain of "monkey flu" only seems to effect people who pose a threat to Sue. Maybe she bioengineered it to attain her goals, which is totally something she would do. Anyway, Will comes down with it and is forced to take a sick leave. Enter the substitute, the comically named Holly Holiday. Not only does she take over in Will's Spanish class, but she also takes the reins of the glee club, much to the chagrin of Rachel, who was hoping to lead the club in Will's absence. Holiday is a big proponent of letting the kids do the songs they want, a big change of pace form Will, who is still looking for a Journey song that the club hasn't performed yet.

As this power struggle plays out, we see Kurt and Blaine's relationship progress, albeit through the eyes of a ticked off Mercedes. It's nice to see Kurt finally have someone to relate to and chat with, but, God Damn, he was dick to Mercedes in this episode. Mercedes thing with the tater tots was pretty stupid, but, as with everything in this episode, was taken to such glorious heights of ridiculousness that it is easily overlooked. The plotline that saw Will and Terri briefly reconcile was also interesting, and handled better than any other  plotline between the two so far in the series.

But, the main focus was Mrs. Holiday, and boy was it a good focus! Gwyneth Paltrow guest stars as the substitute, but it's not a just a movie star cameo designed to ring some extra viewers. I mean, the total viewing population of Glee is probably bigger than some countries, so, they aren't exactly starved for an audience. Paltrow is fantastic as this spunky, fun loving, but ultimately damaged woman. She's hilarious, but also heartbreaking. And damn, can that woman sing!!

The songs this week were also a big step up from last week. They were all exciting, interesting, and each brought something new to the table. The "clean" version of Cee Lo's "Fuck You", as sung by Paltrow, was great, as was her and Rachel's rendition of "Nowadays" from Chicago. Will's and Mike's reimagining of "Make Em' Laugh" from Singing in the Rain was hysterical, and the last song, a mashup of "Singing in the Rain" and Rhianna's "Umberella" was the best song so far this season, and the dancing on the number absolutely killed!

"The Substitute" is, hands down, the best Glee episode of the season, and certainly one of the best of the whole series, ranking right up there with "Dream On", "Journey" and the pilot as the strongest of the bunch. There's talk of making Paltrow's character a regular. I don't know how I feel about that, but, for the time we spent with her this week, it was absolutely wonderful.

Also, how awesome was it seeing Beiste burn Sue when she tries to disband the football team with a "But then who are your Cheerios gonna cheer for?" Priceless.

So, now that Paltrow is out of the way, who's next for big name guest star? Javier Bardem is on the list, and Stamos and Chenoweth are sure to make reappearances. I don't care about any of those; I only care about one of them. Please let the rumors about Bruce Springsteen guesting the show be true. Please let be true. If The Boss were on Glee, so many dreams would come true!

Tolerate It!!!

This is my entry into the good man Fletch's blog-a-thon, 30 dAyS of cRAzY, in which he pulls together a bunch of other bloggers to write about the weirdest, most insane, most trippy of films! Compared to some of the other films on the list, mine seems pretty tame, but, it is still one crazy and disturbing experience!

So, serial killers! Ummm... how to phrase this without sounding like a psychopath... Though they are the most disreputable of people, serial killers have proven to provide damn good material for movies! Don't believe me? Alright, how's this? Dirty Harry, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, American Psycho, The Silence of the Lambs, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, and Death Proof! Foolish, uninformed human! Movies about serial killers are some of the most interesting! They prove to be such terrifying foes for the men and women hunting them, and nowhere is this quality better realized than in Se7en. This 1995 thriller is one of the most haunting, intense, and downright terrifying serial killer films. It's also sensational, with a brilliant atmosphere, strong writing, a sadistic mindset that pulls no punches, and some seriously solid acting! This one will fuck you up, but you'll love it for precisely that reason!

What horribly deranged murder are we gonna try an solve today?

Heavy Boots of Lead

Let the mayhem begin! The summer movie season has officially started, and all the wonderful craziness and explosions that comes with it will be here in full force. If you follow my madness, you will know that I formulate my opinion on the summer based on the first BIG movie of the season. Last year, the season began with X-Men Origins: Wolverine. As such, my opinion on the summer was decidedly cynical. This year, we have Iron Man 2. In my opinion, this summer will be damn good!

Don't mess with this!