July 29, 2011

Other Sides to the Conversation: Week of July 29th

So... that Battleship trailer. How bout that?
...
Yeah, I got nothing.

Anyway, here are some things upon which you can click, which will take you to new things, upon which you can read.

Jess takes on Deathly Hallows: Part 2. Personally, I don't agree with her qualm about the epilogue, but her idea for it is one that would work just as well.

Aiden's review of Attack the Block is not only a solid piece of his usual witty madness, but it was also featured as the top quote on the new poster. My man's moving up in the world!

The Droid You're Looking For "summerizes" the summer movie season.

Cinematic Paradox looks at an oft-forgotten Peter Jackson flick, Heavenly Creatures.

Univarn considers what famous movie lines would be like in the modern age. Genius!

Ciao!

July 28, 2011

The Black Hole Presents: Top 5 Video Games That Could Make Awesome Movies Providing They Got Good Stories, Directors, Actors, and Things Like That

Video games are sort of guilty pleasure for me. I do my best to talk about other, more interesting things with my friends, value other things above them, and would be perfectly happy if Xboxes and PS3s were outlawed tomorrow. But, what can I say? Sometimes, all I want to do is sit down on the couch and interact with some shit, whether with a deep, engaging RPG, or a chaotic and intense shooter.

As of the last few years, we've seen many a game given the cinematic treatment. Unfortunately, they all tend to suck harder than... something that sucks hard. So bad is the reputation of the "video-game movie", that many people will condemn a film just for being based on a game, and justifiably so.

But, it needn't be this way. The best director, most talented cast, and largest budget mean nothing if the property isn't sound, and don't get me wrong, there are tons of games that could very easily make good movies, if the people making them were smart about it. Don't believe me? Fine, here are five of them. Suck on this!

July 26, 2011

Trailer Trash: In Time

It's time to root through some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will be alluded to today?

Comic-Con brought us a lot of interesting of stuff, as per us'. One of the most enticing things to be revealed at this year's event was In Time, which boasts and interesting premise.

The plot seems to borrow from things like Logan's Run and... I don't know what else. Anyway, it seems very curious and action packed and it looks like Amanda Seyfried gets naked. And Cillian Murphy plays a bad guy. What's not to like.

It's a stylish trailer. The CGI of the film seems minimalistic at best, mixed in with more practical stuff. I'm excited. This one should prove to be intriguing.

July 25, 2011

Made in the U.S. of A.

And with that, the longest theatrical trailer of all time comes to an end. After two Iron Man flicks, a Hulk movie, and Thor, only one thing remained before Nick Fury's elusive team assembled. And now there's nothing left. Thankfully, Marvel goes out with a bang. Captain America: The First Avenger, while nowhere near a masterpiece, and certainly far from the best under the Marvel brand, is a much more superior film than you would initially believe. With a healthy amount of well crafted action, strong acting, and the smartest use of Avengers promotion yet, Captain America offers a solid and more than sufficiently entertaining bout of comic book mayhem. It's smarter than it needed to be, and more stylish than was required.

Mission Accomplished! Where's my apple pie?

July 21, 2011

Spanish Castle Magic: Ranking the Harry Potter Films

Since Harry Potter is now nothing more than a beautiful memory, it's time to look back on the entire franchise. It was good run, with more ups than downs, billions of dollars in the bank, and countless imaginations captured. It's a series that defined a generation, and one that, I think, will be looked on twenty years from now with as much respect, admiration, and awe as Star Wars.
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Ok, that's all well and good, but there's one thing prying on my mind. I know, for a fact, which Harry Potter film was the best, but where do the others rank? Which films lived up to the legacy of JK Rowling's rich, engrossing novels, and which one's squandered the material. Find out, after the jump.

July 19, 2011

Trailer Trash: The Dark Knight Rises

It's time to root through some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will be alluded to today?

It tells us nothing. A good majority of it is footage from the previous films. Most of the dialogue is Liam Neeson's badass line from Begins. 


BUT! I! DON'T! CARE!!

It's the first trailer for The Dark Knight Rises! And it shows just enough to get us excited, not the least of which is the tantalizing shot of Batman readying himself for a bout with Tom Hardy's Bane.

Gotham must fall for the Dark Knight to rise. Bring it on!

July 18, 2011

Trailer Trash: Contagion

It's time to root through some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will be alluded to today?

Not much to say on this one. It dramatizes one of my biggest fears, with a kick ass cast. Hell yeah, I'm there!

July 17, 2011

Soundtrack on a Saturday (On a Sunday): $160 Million Chinese Man (From Ocean's Eleven)

And be sure to play Cinematic Captions over at Man, I Love Films. I still have yet to see some of you take part. You know who you are, Simon!

July 16, 2011

Not With A Bang, But With A Sonic Boom

So, the end is upon us. I honestly cannot think of another movie that has caused as much hysteria as this one. I cannot think of one film that caused all my friends to drop everything, dress up, and wait in line for midnight screenings except for this one. I cannot recall a single film that had the potential to mean more to me than this one. The bomb has been dropped. The final chord has been struck. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 is upon us, and with it, the end of the story that a generation grew up with. And what an ending it is! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 is not only the best movie of this summer, it's the best movie of any summer that I can remember! It is a more satisfying conclusion than Return of the Jedi or Return of the King! It's better than Avatar! It's better than The Dark Knight! This is big, epic filmmaking at its most passionate, its most emotional, its most glorious! It's the finale you didn't even know you wanted. You will cry! You will cheer! And you will love EVERY! SINGLE! SECOND!!!

July 15, 2011

It Arrives!

So I guess something pretty big is going down today. The apocalypse?
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Yeah, probably.

Oh gods! What will I wear?

July 14, 2011

Something We've Been Missing

I sometimes rue the time I was born and grew up in. Sure, the 70s and 80s sucked for various reasons, but they were awesome for various reasons as well. I'm not saying that the 90s and 00s were shit. Far from it, it's just that I'm disappointed that I missed out on some things. One of those things is getting to see the movies that came out in those years. No, not the macho action movies or the stupid romantic comedies. No, I'm talking about the awe inspiring, feats of magnificence created by the likes of Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and others. Films like Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark, ET, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and others of the sort. However, just because I don't have the experience of seeing those films in theaters, I still have the nostalgia. And because of that, Super 8 works wonders for me. What director J.J. Abrams and producer Steven Spielberg have crafted is a film designed to make adults remember what the movies of their childhood were like and impart the same sense of awe on today's children. It accomplishes something few films these days do. It provides that pure, unadulterated escapism that the films it's paying homage to had, and leaves you with that childlike feeling of wonder that is rarely felt. It's magic!

You were these kids once...

July 13, 2011

Trailer Trash: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

It's time to root through some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will be alluded to today?

The first BIG trailer to drop this summer season, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows seems to offer a ton of rollicking action and witty bantering. I'm just hard pressed to see how any of this will be different from the messy, if entertaining, original. 


This new one sees Holmes going globe trotting in a quest to bring down Professor Moriarty... and that's about it. 


The trailer looks cool; there are some sweet slo-mo shots at the end, and Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law don't seem to have lost any of the chemistry that made them so enjoyable in the last one. The addition of Noomi Rapace can't hurt, but, this trailer did too little for me. The movie looks fun, but I'm skeptical. 


Whatever though. It's not like I really care about this trailer. The only thing I'm focusing on right now, trailer wise, is getting my ass to Harry Potter so I can get my first taste of The Dark Knight Rises. I'm good at playing the waiting game. I've had lots of practice. 


July 12, 2011

Starved For Ideas...

... and I had work at 6:00 this morning, so here's something Aiden showed me!

July 11, 2011

An Office Drone's Wet Dream

Be honest, you wish you could do this at some point in your life. Everyone, at least once, will have a job where their boss is an absolute turd! Luckily for me, I haven't yet. The one job that I've had has had the good fortune of being governed by a really chill dude, so if I make some incredibly broad generalization in the space of this review, have mercy. For all you cubicle zombies, you factory floor husks, and mail room lackeys, if you can't actually follow through with your fantasies, you can at least live vicariously through the characters of Horrible Bosses... well, at least you could, if they weren't so absurdly incompetent. The new comedy from Seth Gordon is a delightfully dark and witty piece of craziness, that is everything The Hangover: Part II wanted to be and more. Don't miss this one.

Such a tool!

July 8, 2011

Other Sides To the Conversation: Week of July 8th

Haven't done one of these in awhile. Sorry about that. I don't want to make you think that I'm shutting myself off from you all. Far from it. I love you all from the bottom of my heart... or what could be considered my heart. I actually don't know what lies beneath my sternum. I think it's my heart, but I can't be sure...

Here's a furry. Haven't brought one of these out in ages. This is a moose!


Anyway, here are some things upon which you can click, which will lead you to new things, upon which you can read.

Hatter bemoans the summer season. Personally, I think this one's shaping up to be a whole hell of a lot better, but, who am I to argue with the LAMB's Best Blog winner. The man knows his shit!

Reel Insight takes on Kate Winslet. Where has she been since winner her Oscar? Just a question...

Mike wonders if and how the bad reviews will affect his viewing of his most anticipated movie of the year, Larry Crowne.

The Droid You're Looking For takes on Hobo With A Shotgun.

Tom and I differ pretty drastically on The Tree of Life. I love it to death, and he sort of hated it. Here's his review.

Also, don't forget to play Cinematic Captions over at Man, I Love Films. You have two more days.

Alright, peace.

July 7, 2011

Trailer Trash: Flypaper

Is Sebastian Gutierrez gonna have to sue a bitch?

Way back in the summer before my junior year of high school, I wrote up a quick scene where a group of guys try and come up with a plan to rob a bank. The only problem is that they are so absurdly incompetent in everything they do, that said planning proves rather difficult. I finished the scene, saved it to my computer, and there it sat for the better part of year. But then I took it out, decided to expand it, and ended up using it as my senior one act. What it turned into was a pretty luny piece about the aforementioned guys as they try and rob a bank to pay off their debts to crazy crime lord. The only problem is, someone else is robbing the bank at the same time. Comedy ensues.

I will now repeat my question. Is Sebastian Gutierrez gonna have to sue a bitch?
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Not following me?
...
Just watch the trailer!

July 5, 2011

In Other News: Michael Bay Rips Off... Himself

This bothered me when I first saw Dark of the Moon, but I have now had it confirmed by two sources. The article in question first surface on IGN, and then my brother pointed me to another over at Gawker. I wasn't tripping. Michael Bay recycled footage.

During the hectic highway chase that occurs about halfway through Dark of the Moon, there were two shots that had me tilting my head and raising an eyebrow. Why? Because they looked really familiar. As it turns out, they are the exact same footage that Bay shot for The Island. Take a look.



Now, there is a reason for this. The footage from The Island was used due to a catastrophic accident during the filming of the highway chase that left an extra seriously injured. And while I do have to commend the FX team for seamlessly integrating a rampaging Decepticon in the place of a metal slab, it's not a great excuse. I mean, it's not like this is something new for Bay.



Ok, I know. Stock footage and all that, and, yes, it's probably not that big of a deal if he's reusing footage that he himself shot, but, come on Miguel! You gotta at least be better than that. Although, you know what, I guess it is too difficult for you. You probably have some more robot testicles to design. Christ, you are such a hack!

July 4, 2011

Happy Militant Jingoism Day!!!

Go America!!!


Close encounter indeed!

July 3, 2011

Your Sunday Funny #14

And be sure to play Cinematic Captions over at Man, I Love Films!

July 1, 2011

Trailer Trash: Immortals

Time to root through some trailers. What sorts of wonderful things will be alluded to today?

After 300, people deemed it alright to go with style over substance. Hell, 300 had barely any substance to speak of, and we still ate it up like it was Thanksgiving and we had been on a year long fast. However, there has been as of a late a resurgence of style and substance in the same movie. Dear God, who'da-thunk? Immortals looks to be such a film.

Forget the plot. It's your usual men and gods and over the top Greek warfare story. The talent here is what has me hopeful. Surefire talents Mickey Rourke and Freida Pinto lend their efforts to the proceedings, but it's Henry Cavill that has me interested. I really hope he does well in the lead here, if only because it will quell some of the fears that I have that is going to royally screw up Superman.

Anyway, the trailer looks sick, with kick ass music and tons of juicy shots of sword and spear action. Keep your eye on this one. It looks primed to please!